My hands find her face. Holding her jaw. Her cheeks. Her—
She breaks.
It starts with her breath catching. Then her shoulders shaking. Then she is against my chest, her hands fisted in my shirt, her face pressed into my shoulder. The sounds she makesare not pretty. Hiccuping gasps that break in her throat, wet and rough.
Her breath comes in gulps between sobs. Each inhale a shudder. Each exhale jagged.
I hold her. Do not try to fix it. Do not offer solutions or platitudes.
Just hold her.
She smells like her shampoo, rose and something warm beneath it. Patchouli. And salt. And fear finally releasing.
"They were watching my baby," she chokes out.
"They are not watching anymore. They never will again."
"I could not protect her. I couldn't—"
"You did protect her. You kept her safe. You kept yourself safe. You survived."
"I did not even know—"
"You could not have known. That is not failure. That is them being professionals."
She cries harder. Soaks my shirt. Her hands clutch at my back like I am the only thing keeping her upright.
I let her.
This is what the violence was for.The thought surfaces clear and certain. The raid. The takedown. Walsh's blood on my knuckles. All of it—so she could have one place where the armor could come off.
The crying slows eventually. Not stopping, just ebbing. Her body goes heavy against mine, wrung out.
"I am not broken," she mumbles into my shirt.
"I know."
"I just needed—"
"Somewhere safe enough to fall apart."
She tips her head back. Looks up at me with red-rimmed eyes, wet cheeks, face swollen and blotchy from crying. A mess.
My mess.
"I love you."
My hand stops moving in her hair. I was not even aware I had been stroking it.
"Angelina." Her name comes out cracked. Barely a sound.
"You do not have to—"
"I have loved you since you corrected my Italian in the library." My thumb traces her cheekbone, catching a tear that has not quite fallen. A pause. Twelve years of silence breaking open. "I just forgot how to say it."
Her eyes fill again. Fresh tears spilling over, but her face changes and something loosens behind her eyes.
"Say it again."