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“It’s not in your nature,” I said. Patera had no problem turning off his concern. “And it means the world to me to hear you say that. Go home. I’ll make the calls and lock up. It’s good for me to be busy.”
Max glanced at Cal and Aiden, who both nodded. He blew out a breath and headed for the door.
“You good?” I called after him. I’d never seen him this upset, and I worried today might have tempted his sobriety. “You’re not going to do anything stupid either, right?”
He shook his head. “I’m going home and loving up on my girls. You call me anytime. Middle of the night. I don’t care. Got it?”
I nodded and he opened the door. It looked like he was fighting against a current when he stepped over the threshold and pulled it shut behind him. I kept an eye on him until he got into his car and took off in the opposite direction Aries had gone.
Cal glanced at his phone and frowned. “Mind if I go too? I need to let out Skye.” He glanced at Aiden who sank into a chair like he intended to stay awhile.
“You should head home. I’m fine,” I told him after Cal left.
“Can’t. Left my car on Sullivan Street. I need a ride to your house. I can walk from there.”
“And you didn’t think to get one from Cal?”
Aiden shrugged. Once I finished canceling appointments and locking up, he followed me to my truck. He pretended to mess around with his phone on the drive to my house, but he kept glancing at me and biting his fingernails like he always does when he’s nervous and doesn’t have a napkin to shred.
At least the windows were dark when I pulled up. I half expected Rowan, or even Poppy, to be waiting inside. An icy wind cut through me as I walked to the door. I just wanted to crawl into bed, which hopefully still smelled like Poppy, and fall apart. Unfortunately, Aiden wouldn’t stop treating me like a toddler who couldn’t be trusted with a metal fork. Instead of heading toward Sullivan Street, he trailed behind me like a shadow.
“Gotta take a leak,” he said.
Before I could unlock the door, Cal tromped around the house with Skye. “This is ridiculous,” I said as they worked their way through the yard and up the steps. “I don’t need either of you to babysit me. Let alone both of you and the dog.”
“Yeah, well, we need you,” Cal said, staring at his feet. “And we’re making sure you’re safe.”
“Sorry, man.” Aiden gave my shoulder a friendly thump as he grabbed my keys, unlocked the door, and walked past me.
I sighed and motioned for Cal to go ahead of me into the house. There was no point telling them yet again that I wasn’t suicidal and never had been. If anything, I needed more years than the average person to atone for what I’d done. But I did feel the urge to cut myself, if for no other reason than it would confirm my breakup with Poppy. Too bad Max would drag my ass to the nearest psych ward if I did.
When I entered the house, my mouth fell open. The couch was the same shape but had somehow changed from floral to dark gray. I walked closer and pulled on the fabric. It snapped back as soon as I released it. A low black coffee table sat before it with a small abstract sculpture I recognized as Poppy’s.
“Good call on the slipcover,” Cal said, collapsing on the couch. “Looks nice.”
“What the hell’s a slipcover and how’d it get on my couch?” I asked.
“Probably the same way you got a new shower curtain and a toothbrush holder,” Aiden said from the bathroom doorway.
“What?” I asked, pushing past him into the bathroom. Someone had replaced the plastic shower curtain I’d bought at the dollar store with a fabric one that somehow worked with the mustard-colored tiles. The towel racks held plush navy towels in all sizes, and my toothbrush stood upright in a porcelain holder.
“Looks like they hit the kitchen too,” Cal called. “No more plastic forks. You can eat your microwaved meals like a civilized person.”
“The bedroom is pretty much the same,” Aiden said from down the hall. “Except for the painting.”
My heart sank to my stomach. I knew without looking that Poppy had framed the canvas we’d painted together and hung it over the bed like she’d planned. She wasn’t giving up on us. Iyanked the new shower curtain aside, collapsed on the edge of the tub, and put my head in my hands. Nails clicked softly on the tile floor before Skye shoved her big gray head onto my lap.
“I figured they’d mess the place up,” Aiden said, walking down the hall. “Rowan and Chris were pissed. But I guess making it nice is the equivalent for you.”
His thudding footsteps stopped right outside the bathroom. I knew he was watching me, but I couldn’t lift my head from Skye’s fur.
“Rowan and Chris didn’t do this,” Cal said, a few moments later, his voice echoing off the bathroom tiles. “They’ve been baking all afternoon. Chris dropped off a ton of food earlier.”
“Ah,” Aiden said. “No wonder Theo’s a mess. Hell Cat’s sending him a message.”
I finally lifted my head and found them both crammed into the small space between the sink and linen closet.
“When you punish yourself, I don’t think you realize how much it hurts the people who love you,” Aiden said, yanking on a fingernail. “I can look past all the hurt you’ve caused me over the years because I understand where you’re coming from. But the pain you’re causing Poppy is on another level. It’s hard not to intervene.”