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“I understand. And there will be no need for another. I will wait, as long as you need.”
I smiled at him before closing my eyes. I willed the darkness to take my thoughts and dreams from me. I just wanted to sleep tonight. I didn’t want to see or feel anything. All I wanted to do was sleep.
Chapter 21
Creatures continued to pour from the rift over the next few weeks. A battalion went out every morning and when they returned in the evening, another was sent to continue their work. The kingdom was on high alert. No one was allowed beyond the city borders to prevent any civilian casualties.
Gaelin was preoccupied with the continual threats, which I was thankful for. It prevented any real alone time between us. Though we slept in the same bed, I was not ready to venture deeper. Levos and Madison became my constants. I continued to help the human servants anyway I could, though I never felt like I was doing enough.
The king continued to display unusual behavior that made everyone begin to question his judgment. A few of the humans even began to call him the Mad King. He would have random unprovoked outbursts during meals. He would strike anyone who was near him. He even beat his chambermaid so badly she was bedridden for a week.
He took me whenever Gaelin failed to kill or capture the creatures they were hunting. This sent Gaelin into a downward spiral. He would stay out in the woods long after his infantry had returned home. He was barely eating or sleeping, afraid for my well-being.
Every time the king took me against my will, a little part of me died. I didn’t know how much a person could give until there was nothing left, but I was afraid I was about to find out. When I would return to Gaelin’s room, he would just look at me as if I was a different person. I guess, in a way, I was.
We fell into the routine of ignoring what was happening to me. Gaelin would always ask if I needed anything from him, but this kind of torture was the type that I had to keep to myself. If I confided in him about my experiences, I was afraid he would break. It was better that I handled this on my own. Avoidance worked most days, but when the reality of my situation would come crashing into focus, I found myself huddling in a corner, screaming, and crying as I lost control.
Levos’s room became my haven. When I was about to have a breakdown, I would hide out there, knowing no one would bother me or come looking for me. Levos would hold me until the tremors stopped, but I knew my pain was wearing on my friend. He had to be there for both Madison and me when one of us was taken against our wishes.
The day before the wedding, Gaelin was a mess. He wouldn’t talk, eat, sleep, or even look at me. Levos did his best to be there for his cousin, but he already had a lot on his plate with everyone’s lives being in disarray. Regardless of what was going on in my life, Gaelin was my friend. He was even willing to rewrite the laws of the alfar to protect me. I had to be there for him.
“Do you want to go for a ride to clear your head before dinner?” I asked Gaelin.
He sat on the ledge of the balcony in his room, looking over the kingdom. “If I leave now, I may never come back.”
“Let’s try and think of this from a positive perspective, okay? Just humor me.”
He looked at me as I approached and smiled softly. “I’ll bite.”
“You marrying Daealla could be very good for everyone involved. You will eventually become king, having more power than anyone in the kingdom. You can change things, just like we’ve talked about. You can put Daealla in her place. You can cut communication with the dark alfar and restore your kingdom to the purity you seek.”
“But how long?” he asked, looking out over the horizon.
“What?”
“How long will it take for me to get enough power to prevent us from living in the hell that we are currently in? How long will King Lysanthier live? How many times will I have to lay with Daealla to conceive an heir? How long will it take to change the laws so you are safe, and we can be together?” he whispered, already sounding defeated.
“It doesn’t matter how long, as long as you get there in the end,” I said.
“But it does matter.” He turned his head to me. “Living like this is breaking both of us. What if by the time I am given the power, there is nothing left of either of us to save?”
I went to him, taking his hand in mine. Be positive, I thought. Be strong. “You doubt my strength, Gaelin. I’m a bit offended by it,” I said with a smile.
He laughed softly, squeezing my hand. “You’re stronger than anyone I’ve ever met. I don’t know how you deal with everything and then still have the strength to sit here trying to find the positive in all of this.” He looked at me longingly. He leaned into my touch, closing his eyes to savor the contact he hadn’t had from me in weeks. “I love you,” he whispered.
“And that is the greatest gift you could ever give me,” I said, trying to sound sincere. It was the truth. Without his love, I didn’t know where I would be right now. I could be dead or tossed around by the whole alfar court. His love didn’t protect me completely, but it did offer a shield of sorts.
He made a graceful gesture toward a vine that was wrapped around the banister. A beautiful red flower bloomed from the base. He plucked it and gently placed it behind my ear. He touched my face softly, slowly circling his thumb around my lips.
I couldn’t give him what he needed, but I could at least give him something. I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him close. I buried my face in his shirt, taking in his scent. His arms were large and firm as they took my small, frail body against his own. He inhaled my scent from my head, and relaxed. We stayed in that position for at least an hour, not saying another word.
That night at dinner, I was assigned to the royals’ table, as I had been ever since the king had taken me the first time. As I reached from behind the king to fill his goblet with wine, his hand slid up my dress to my thigh. I pulled away, but he caught my arm, pulling me to his lap.
The light alfar were discreet about their sexual affairs. It was one of the things that set them and the dark alfar apart. The king no longer seemed to care about what was expected of him or that he had an audience. He dragged his cold, disgusting fingers down my neck until he reached my neckline. He slid his hand under it, watching as I squirmed with discomfort and protest. Gaelin’s hands were tightened into fists as he tried not to watch. The king looked at him and laughed, amused by the pain he was causing.
“Lord Atros? What will your mistress be doing tomorrow evening when you are consummating your marriage to my daughter? I think I might keep her company in your stead,” he said, turning his attention back to me. He finally let go of me. I didn’t waste a second. I rushed back to the wall, feeling disgusting and embarrassed by his behavior. Felicity, the human girl whose brother I had helped, grasped my hand as I took my position by her. I squeezed hard, trying to steady my breaths.
“Are you not grateful to have the honor of being united with my beautiful daughter, Lord Atros?” asked the king. Gaelin just sat there without a word. Lysanthier’s body language went tense as his temper rose. “Or would you prefer I allowed you to marry your human mistress?”