“Don’t start gloating,” he groans.
“Oh, I’m just getting warmed up,” I say. He looks so goddamn good like this, still challenging me through it. “Tell me something, Caiden.”
“What?” he breathes.
“When exactly did you think you were safe?” I ask, kissing his throat. “After you begged?” His pulse jumps. “After you came?” My lips brush his ear. “After I filled you?”
He swallows so hard I hear the gulp. “I hate you.”
“No,” I say gently, catching his jaw and forcing him to look at me. “You don’t.”
“Ari...”
“There,” I murmur, smirking. “That’s the tone I like.” I press my hips down against his, hard enough to make him gasp and buck instinctively beneath me. “See?” I whisper. “Not finished yet.”
He lets out a breathless laugh. “You’re insane.”
“And you like it.”
“Unfortunately,” he agrees. I kiss him again, quick this time, sharp, playful, then bite his lower lip just enough to make him flinch and dig his nails into my ass harder. When I pull back, he’s panting again.
“Round two. Now.”
By the time we finally collapse, his chest is pressed to mine, slick with sweat, and both of us breathing like we’ve been dragged underwater then barely resurfaced. Caiden laughs against my throat, exhausted, and the sound rocks me harder than anything else tonight. I don’t realise I’ve wrapped an arm around him until I feel his fingers trail lazily down my ribs.
I need to put space between us before the quiet hits, and before my brain catches up to the fact that I’m still inside this moment. But instead, I lie here catching my breath, feeling the slow rise and fall of his chest against mine, and his weight settling into me.
The softness moves me before I can stop it, and I kiss him, slowly, deeply, swallowing the aftermath right from his mouth. I pull his bare body against mine, and his breathing steadies slowly, syncing with mine as he falls asleep. He’s so warm, in a way I’m not used to. I never usually stay afterwards. In fact, I find any excuse I can to leave.
But this is different.
I stroke my thumb over the back of his neck unconsciously. It’s far too gentle, and I immediately regret itwhen something that feels like contentment spreads through me.
No. No, no, no. This is not what we’re doing.
I shift, putting a sliver of distance between us, but he follows the movement without waking, nuzzling into the curve of my shoulder like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
My heart races violently as I stare at the ceiling, trying to calm the stupid panic in my chest. I risk another look at him, noticing how the firelight throws soft gold across his cheekbone, his jaw, and his mouth — the same mouth that drives me insane.
Fuck. I’m in trouble.
I brush his hair back just to get it out of his eyes, and his face softens against my shoulder. “Pozhaluysta, ne nado...”Please, don’t...I whisper into the dark. He makes a sleepy unconcerned sound, that makes my stomach do somersaults.
I need to move, to put the walls back in place before morning. But his arm tightens across my stomach, nuzzling closer in his sleep, and the fight goes out of me in one crushing, humiliating exhale.
I stay where I am.
Not because I should or because it’s wise and survivable. I stay because, for the first time in years, someone is holding onto me like I’m worth holding.
And I’m not strong enough to walk away from that.
Not tonight.
Twenty-Nine
Caiden
I wake up already touching him. It takes my brain a few seconds to catch up with that fact. I surface in pieces, warmth first, then weight, then the dull ache in places I didn't know existed. There’s a solid shape under my arm, and the first coherent thought I have is ‘shit, I overslept.’ The second is ‘what the fuck is that?’