“I knew that asshole was going to hurt you again.” Thiago sighs.
“He didn’t want me to be a sex slave to a power-hungry monster who abuses everyone he comes in contact with,” I say, resting my head on my knees and petting the dog hogging the couch. The room goes quiet except for the door creaking.
“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Uri says.
Hadeon nudges the dog off the couch and takes the now furry spot. He doesn’t look at me, only the men in the room. “We’re going into DEFCON Delilah.”
Guns disappear. Phones come out. Thiago walks to the bathroom. “I’m getting Claritin,” he mutters, already complaining about the dog. “My first allergy appointment was this morning. My arm still hurts.”
Hadeon calls Penny. She answers, “Baby, if this is about almond milk?—”
“DEFCON Delilah,” he speaks into the phone and then hands it over to me.
My mentor and friend’s voice rises “All meetings are over. Get to work. Email the rest. Leave.” A pause. “Okay, Alana. Tell me everything.”
Wow, she’s pausing her empire to provide emotional support after years of keeping my Grae away from me. My feelings are mixed at best, but I tell her about Grae, and that Amanda had the journal. The interrogation. The miscommunication. The phone. The video. No detail is skipped—except Terk’s name. By now, Thiago sits on the arm of the couch, close but far from the dog. The men take positions around the room, guarding me.
Retelling it lights everything back up. I start crying again.
“Alana, we need a name for this guy.” Joey crosses his arms.
“No.” I shake my head. “You’re only going to kill him.”
Dimitri chuckles, tracing the blade of his knife. “That’s the point.”
“You’re not listening,” I snap through clenched teeth. “I didn’t tell you his name because you’re only going to kill him.” This side of me has been dormant for almost two years. I thought the revenge virus burned out. Apparently, it mutated. Concerned glances pass between them.
“Okay, Penny,” Hadeon says, taking the phone out of my hand. “How do we fix this?”
“You don’t,” Penny sighs. “This is a multi-pronged hit. First, she was wrong. For years, Alana assumed she was dumped because she failed.” Yep, I hate everything about that. “Second, she wishes she were right. That way she’d be broken, and broken things can be fixed.” I do like fixing things. “Third, loss of control. Grae made the decision. She thinks they’re stronger together. That she makes him stronger.” She pauses. “Fourth, self-sabotage. Every relationship after that is shaped by fear. What-ifs.” I grimace. Penny gets a pass. “And fifth, the worst one. Needing help and being afraid to ask.”
It’s Thiago who squeezes my shoulder. “You’ve been there for us. Why wouldn’t we be there for you?”
The words lodge in my throat.
“She doesn’t trust people to do things for her,” Penny continues. “She only accepts help on her terms. She’s reliable. She doesn’t expect others to be.”
“Ouch,” Joey mutters.
“To need help makes me look weak,” I whisper. “And I can’t afford to look weak around any of you.”
Hadeon pulls me into his chest, protective but platonic. “How do we fix this?”
“You can’t,” Penny says again. “Just remind her the world isn’t terrible.” This is not exactly the guy's strong suit. They all glance around. She lets out an exasperated sigh and says, “I’ll be there soon.”
Joey pulls out his cellphone. “I think I can fix this.”
Hadeon and I exchange quick glances. “Didn’t you listen to anything my wife said?”
“Hey Babe,” Joey lifts his finger. “Listen, Alana is really upset.”
“Dammit, I don’t want to kill a dog. I mean not a client’s dog. That’s bad for business,” Jenny says, and Joey blinks down at the phone.
“What?” he says and looks around to everyone else for some translation. I know what she’s gonna say, and it’s way more fun to listen to Jenny explain her mind's process.
“Well yeah. First, we need to dig an eight-foot hole. And by we, I mean you, because digging holes is like the worst. Then we throw in the body, fill it back four feet, drop a dead dog in and fill in the rest. Why? How do you guys get rid of bodies?”
“Um,” Joey blinks a few times. “This isn’t a conversation we should have over the phone. But why would you assume we’re killing someone?" There’s a huff.