And why would KC ever want me to fuck him if he knew for a fact I didn’t know what I was doing?
“I wanna go home,” I whispered, even though this was more home than my house.
3
KC
If I stared at Oli any harder, I’d set him on fire. His words echoed in my head, over and over again, until a lump formed in my throat and the world closed in around me.
First time.
As in, hisfirstfirst time?
Holy fuck. I had no idea. From the look on Ren’s face, he hadn’t, either. Oli was a virgin before we took him? Ren hadn’t been gentle.
Ren’s mouth thinned while his eyebrows furrowed, his face doing something complicated. I couldn’t read his expression, but clearly whatever Oli saw was enough for him to decide to hightail it out of here.
He lowered his head, chin pressed flat against his chest, gazing specifically in my direction as though he was too scared to look at Ren. “I’m sorry for disappointing you.” Then, he hopped to his feet, dragged up his pants, and rushed out the door.
I stood, wobbled, and glared at Ren. My heart somersaulted, rattling against my ribs at the thought of letting Oli go. He didn’teven have a damned shirt on, let alone shoes. “Aren’t you going after him?”
Ren groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands. He leaned his elbows on his knees, the color leeching out of his face until his tattoos stood out more vibrantly. “I didn’t fucking know he was a virgin.”
“I didn’t, either, but now he thinks we’re mad at him.” I grabbed my clothes and dragged them on. I didn’t need Oli running around in the dark with only his pants on while drowning in weird feelings. As confused as I was about the bombshell he’d dropped, I wasn’t going to leave him alone. I couldn’t imagine howhemust’ve felt admitting that new information to us.
“Iammad at him,” Ren snapped.
I froze in surprise.
His jaw twitched. “He should’ve told us he was completely inexperienced. We can’t do anything about something we don’t know. Why didn’t he say anything?”
“What does it matter?” I bit back, my glare deepening. “We’ve had sex. He was fine. We didn’t hurt him.”
“I could’ve.” Ren stood, using his height to tower over me.
He was one of the few people in my life who could look down on me, and I hated it. No, that was a lie. I loved that he was taller than me most of the time, except in situations like this. It was a reminder of howsmallI was. I might not be able to get taller, but I could pack on more muscle.
“I was rough with him. I have piercings, KC. Fuckingpiercings. They aren’t easy for the sluttiest person to handle, but Oliver was....” He shook his head and waved his hands around. He winced and muttered under his breath, “I could’ve hurt him. I did hurt him.”
This time I didn’t miss the flash of concern twisting his lips and how sadness filled his eyes, but as quickly as the emotionshad appeared, they disappeared. Ren put his heart on the line when it came to asking us for forgiveness for his deception, but he was still struggling with his feelings around us. This was a man raised in a heartless home. Maybe I would be this fucked up or more if Pa hadn’t found me and taken me in.
“So, you apologize. You tell him it’s okay, and we move on. We check in with him. We made a mistake. I wasn’t gentle with him, either.” I raised my chin. “He needs us, Ren.”
He exhaled and grabbed his sweatpants, dragging them up his long, inked legs and over his hips. “I need to think.”
I snorted. “Oli’s right. You are a fucking dickhead.”
I stormed out toward the elevator, ignoring his sputtering. I made it down to the underground parking garage before I ran into Oli leaning against the wall without his shirt. He cringed as soon as he saw me and stuck his hands in his pockets, rolling his shoulders in on himself.
“I came with you. Forgot.” His voice was low and sad.
Immediately, I closed the distance between us to pull him against my chest. He melted into me, a sigh escaping him. He was warm and here, and that was all I cared about. I pressed a kiss to his temple.
“Oli, I don’t care that you were a virgin. I wish you would’ve said something because we wouldn’t have been so rough.”
He laughed humorlessly. “But I want you to be rough with me. I like it. A lot. I enjoy the pain. I do! Maybe that’s why I didn’t tell you. Maybe I didn’t want you to look at me any differently. I shouldn’t have been a virgin.”
“That’s bullshit.” I held him tighter, though I didn’t think it was possible. He was already pressed as close as he could get to me. I wished I’d thought about grabbing his shirt and shoes before I’d stormed out of the apartment. “You can be a virgin your entire life if you want. No one gets to choose for someone when or if they have sex.”