“You’re fucking with Cole’s head and pushing all of us too hard. Someone is going to get hurt.”
He rolls his blue eyes exactly the same way Cole does. “You’re overthinking it.”
I shouldn’t have told him about my bad feeling. I just wanted him to keep a closer eye on Cole.
“It’s going to be fine, Morgan.”
“I’m sick of Morrissey brothers telling me it’s going to be fine. I’m the deck boss. I know what the conditions are out there. If you don’t agree with my judgment, come down from the wheelhouse and work the deck until you remember what it’s like.”
“You can’t talk to a captain like that. If you were on anyone else’s boat?—”
“But I’m not on anyone else’s boat, and I’m not talking to my captain. I’m talking to my best friend. We all want to get home as soon as possible. It’s not like we’re lazy. It’s about safety. You need to trust us when we tell you it’s too much. You need to trust Colemore too. Let him own his decisions, let him make mistakes so he can learn.”
“He makes plenty of mistakes all by himself.”
“And you haven’t?”
“That’s different. Cole’s always been…”
“Cole is Cole, but he cares about everyone’s safety, and he doesn’t need you protecting him.”
Seb quirks a brow. Yeah, I know. I’m being a hypocrite. At least I have the excuse of being his husband.
“He wants your approval, Seb. He always has, and when you take over, he takes it personally. It’s stunting him at the throttle.”
Seb rubs the back of his neck. “Did he say something?”
“No. He just has that kicked puppy look.”
Cole’s cute like that. It’s some sort of defense mechanism. He’s just as capable and strong as the rest of us, but he’s so sweet and happy all the time that if you hurt his feelings, you feel like the world’s biggest asshole.
“Shit,” Seb says.
“What’s going on? You can talk to me.”
Dan Morrissey died six years ago. It was hard on all of us, and at first, I thought Cole took it the worst. He went on a self-destructive, alcohol-induced bender, but at least he expresses his emotions. Sometimes that’s overwhelming and explosive, but it’s better than keeping all of that grief locked inside. Seb didn’t grieve Dan, and he didn’t grieve Lexie either.
Gravity drags me back asBriarclimbs another monster wave. I stretch my legs under the table, stopping Lawrence before he rolls off the bench. The next wave sideswipes the starboard side. The pantry door swings open, and boxes of cereal, pasta, and protein bars tumble out.
Seb sucks air through his teeth. “Who forgot to lock this?”
“Probably Lawrence.”
Seb kneels and picks up the boxes. He and Cole both have the same messy cowlick on the back of their heads.
“I just want to get this shit over with.” Seb stands. “I hateleaving Finn, and I really need to get this season on the books.” He crams the boxes back in, and slides the bar into the lock on the pantry door. “That broken prop emptied my savings, and I’m still paying the bills from my torn rotator cuff.”
Medical bills are no joke. It’s expensive to insure a fisherman, and the plans don’t cover much.
“I had to pull money from my mortgage, and I can’t afford to abandon crab traps under the ice. I need every dollar.”
“Why didn’t you say something?” I don’t know why I asked.Pride. God love my best friend, but he doesn’t have to be strong all the damn time. “It’s okay to need help. It’s okay to ask for it.”
“I don’twantto need help.”
“I know, but we’re a family. We help each other. You taught me that, remember?”
When my uncle kicked me out, I left with the clothes on my back and what I could carry in my backpack. I hated taking handouts, especially when Seb had already given me a place to stay.