Lawrence
You just did.
EIGHTEEN
Morgan
This yearour annual man overboard drill is a solemn affair. We’ve already had more experience than any drill could prepare for.
Cole avoids eye contact as he runs us through donning our survival suits until everyone can do it in less than a minute. We haven’t talked since he fell asleep in my arms yesterday. I probably fucked things up by leaving before he woke up.
I would have stayed, but I had a nightmare that Cole died before the helicopter arrived. He never lost consciousness and suffered until the end, telling me over and over that he didn’t want to die.
When I woke up, the abrupt change from a stormy night to daylight in Dutch was disorienting. My stomach revolted, and I barely made it down to the deck before I vomited over the rail.
“If there’s one thing we learned from last year, it’s that we only enter the water to rescue someone as a last resort, and never without a survival suit,” Cole says, holding a clipboard. “Last year we went off script, and it was deadly.”
He’s right. I lost my head and went in after the man I loved. It’s sheer luck that Cole and I are alive at all—sheer luck and Seb’s sacrifice, that is.
“Morgan, I want you to go in after Alejo,” he says, eyes on his clipboard.
“M-me?”
“That’s not fair,” Lawrence says. “He has the most practice.”
“You itching to go for a swim, Lawless?” Javi says. “I’ll push you in.”
“If you push me in, I’ll take you with me.”
Cole lifts his gaze from his clipboard. “Morgan will go.”
“Roger,” Lawrence says.
“Alejo, we’re ready when you are,” Cole says.
He’s trying so hard to pretend he’s unaffected, but I know him too well. He’s nervous. I’m nervous too.
Alejo stands at the edge, crosses one leg over the other, plugs his nose, and jumps.
“Man overboard!” Lawrence shouts.
Javi tosses a life ring into the water and smashes the panic button. A trilling alarm rings out.
I sprint to the forepeak and grab my survival suit. Most boats only have a single set of survival suits for each crew member, typically stored in the wheelhouse, but when Seb took over theBriar, he splurged on another set just in case.
Wes helps me finish fastening my survival suit, then I run to the edge and jump. The icy water rips the air from my lungs, but I have more than enough experience with that now. I feel pretty damn proud of how well I’m handling it until I look up at the boat.
Day turns to night, and the calm harbor transforms into heavy seas. My heart ricochets around my chest. Where’s Cole? Where’s Seb?
“Morgan?” Cole calls, peering over the rail. “Are you okay?”
Reality crashes into me. Shit.
“Yeah,” I yell.
I swim toward Alejo, already waiting for me at the life ring. Cole was smart to suggest this drill for me. If the first time I wentinto the Bering Sea after saving him had happened out of the harbor, I would have flailed. Maybe even drowned.
“Hey, Captain,” Alejo says, squinting at me through the sun reflecting off the water. “The water is colder than I expected. I can’t believe you did this midwinter.”