“The very first foal I lost was from backward presentation.” He’d suddenly spoken into the still air. “I’d seen hundreds of births by then, so it wasn’t like I didn’t know how long it took after seeing hooves before you should see a nose. But I just kept waiting, convincing myself there’d be a little muzzle popping out with the next push. By the time I realized, it was too late. I’ve never felt more like a failure than I did that day.”
His voice had been thready as if he were forcing them out around the regret that still lived inside him. I’d taken his hand and slotted our fingers together, suddenly unsure of how to comfort him when I was still dealing with my own mess of complex emotions from leaving him the other night. But he’d just squeezed my hand and given me a watery smile before adding, “I’m so glad tonight was different.”
He dropped a kiss on the back of my hand that made every bone in my body ache and sing at the same time, and I couldn’t help takingthose lips with my own. It was supposed to be a soft thing, a gentle reminder that he didn’t have to carry the weight of his mistakes on his own. But it quickly became heated, our tongues and teeth getting involved in the best way possible, and before I knew it, Tucker was climbing over my center console to straddle my lap.
The near silence of the truck was interrupted with our heavy pants and the clink of our belts and jeans as we scrambled to get our dicks out. The groans we let out when Tucker wrapped a fist around us both were of pure relief, and he wasted no time jerking us at a fevered pace that had my eyes nearly rolling back into my head from the start.
It was my name he moaned as we spiraled toward our climax, and it was my name that fell from his lips like a prayer as he came all over his hand and my cock, and I hated how much that soothed me. My insecurities had only grown the longer I’d been left alone with them, and hearing him call out for me over and over was like a balm to my soul. Tucker still wanted me, even if he hadn’t wanted me in his bed, he still craved me as much as I craved him.
Afterward, we’d both cleaned up, and Tucker had kissed me before getting out of the truck. There’d been no invitation inside or even a hint for me to follow. So I’d just watched him as he took the stairs of his porch before slipping inside the house, all the while wondering if he’d just stepped into a mausoleum for Raleigh rather than a home for himself.
The following day, Conrad, Tucker’s father, announced his retirement and formally handed over the responsibilities of ownership to Tucker. The news came with Granger’s promotion to foreman, finally making the day-to-day operations on Juniper Grove official. The whole farm was buzzing about it, and a big celebration dinner was held that evening with plans for a larger retirement party for Conrad at the end of the week.
The farmhouse had been full of so much conversation, laughter, and good food specially prepared by Tallie to commemorate the event, and despite everything, I couldn’t help but being so fuckingproud of Tucker. He only had the ghost of a smile on his lips most of the night, which was so him, but I could tell how much it meant to finally be handed his family business. He’d mentioned how important maintaining their legacy was to him, so it wasn’t hard to congratulate him with a wide grin.
After dinner, his mother pulled out a bottle of Macallan for everyone to share with the reminder that the horses still needed to be cared for in the morning. Dudd, Mack, and Dillon all chose to skip out on the generous offer—one for sobriety reasons, and the other two taking on the responsibility of morning feedings to let the rest of us have our fun.
Truthfully, I hadn’t expected Tucker to partake, but maybe he’d been more worried about his father not passing over the farm than he ever let on. It was a ridiculous notion, but I wouldn’t have put it past him to fret over a sure thing. He’d take the world on his shoulders if it meant things would be just a little easier for everyone else around him.
As the night went on, Tucker and I kept making eyes at each other across the room, something heated swirling in his amber hues every time it happened. He was more loose and free than I’d ever seen him, and I couldn’t deny how much his longing stares turned me on. When everything was winding down, and the rest of the guys were heading to turn in for the night, he pulled me away from the crowd and led me to a back room on the other side of the house.
His lips had crashed into mine the moment the door shut behind us. He tasted like the fine whiskey we’d drank and everything good in this world. He’d wasted no time, tearing at my clothes in a frenzy, and normally that would have had my blood heating with lust, but those lingering insecurities danced in the back of my head. Every attempt I made at slowing things down was barreled through until I finally fell into his rhythm, fucking him hard and fast against the door. Tucker had spilled his release into my hand with a muffled cry, and I’d toppled over the edge just shortly after him, feeling a weird mixture of emptiness and satisfaction.
We’d gotten ourselves cleaned up, and maybe my unease had been clear because Tucker had slipped his hand into mine as we made our way through the farmhouse and out to our trucks. He’d led me over to mine and pressed me against the door to kiss me slow and gentle. As though I meant something to him. It was everything I’d wanted before, and my heart hurt with the pressure sitting on my chest as he pulled away to leave.
I watched him drive off, telling myself I could handle Tucker wanting me physically while still holding back emotionally. He just needed more time. He’d come around eventually, right? Somewhere in the back of my head, though, I knew the clock was ticking. Only two months were left of my contract.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
TUCKER
Since my father’s official retirement as owner of Juniper Grove, I’d been busier than flies on shit. Getting everything transitioned over smoothly while trying to coordinate our next roster for live covers, organizing when mares from outside facilities could come for their covers, and setting up the shows we’d be presenting this year’s foals at was taking up all my time.
The shift from foreman to owner wasn’t supposed to be all that difficult, given my father had slowly been handing things over, but the timing of it all was hardly ideal with how the last birth of the season went and things with Jackson. Add in the fact I hadn’t made the time to set up a proper office before all of this, and it was safe to say I was feeling sufficiently overwhelmed.
Thankfully, though, Granger was a rockstar under pressure, and he’d swooped in to help manage some admin things, all while keeping the rest of the farm running like a well-oiled machine. It’d helped me make the time to finally find a space of my own that’d become my office.
My father had offered his old one, but it’d been inside the farmhouse and the thought of waking up every day to go work out of mychildhood home just felt wrong. It’d made sense for my dad, but I knew I’d feel better if I was somewhere more central, which was how I’d ended up clearing out one of the unused storage rooms in the main barn. It didn’t hurt that it was just down the hall from Poe’s stall, either.
I had just gotten the place all set up, looking somewhat like an office with a desk and a few chairs when my parents had dropped by with boxes upon boxes of paperwork. They contained an assortment of stuff that I would need such as vendor contact information, racing fees, and lineage maps along with a bunch of things I didn’t need mixed in. It was going to take me forever to sort through it all, and with everything going on, it’d fallen low on my to-do list.
I was sitting in my office midweek, going over an inventory and expense list my father had sent me when a knock sounded at my door.
“Come in!” I called, not looking away from my computer monitor until a familiar head poked in from the hallway.
“Got a minute?” Granger asked, coming in anyway and plopping down into one of the chairs set up before my desk.
“Depends,” I huffed good-naturedly, raising an eyebrow at him with a small smirk on my lips. “If you’re going to take advantage of me having an office just so you can corner me into listening to you whine about your issues with that bartender at Wagner’s, I have all of about two seconds before I’m cutting you off.”
Granger threw his hands up in the air, leaning back in his seat. “I’m telling you, that guy is a certified ass! I made one lousy comment about the drinks tasting watered downone timeand the man has short served me ever since. I know you think I’m crazy, but I’ve watched him pour my drinks and those pours are real fucking quick, Tuck. Plus I’m never hungover on the nights he’s behind the bar, even if I’m drinking the same amount. The evidence speaks for itself, man!”
I let out a low chuckle, crossing my arms as I rested back against my chair as well. “Two seconds,” I reminded him, knowing full wellGranger had intentionally made that comment thinking the bartender would top him off for free, only for the guy to see right through him.
He flapped his hand, making an annoyed sound before he moved on. “He’s not why I’m here. I wanted to talk with you about Jackson.”
“What about Jackson?” I asked, my heart flipping around inside my chest at just the sound of his name.
“What are your plans for his contract?”