“Tuck taking you around the grounds, huh?” Granger flashed me a wide smile that was quickly replaced with a questioning look as I stared back at him with an expression that probably gave away all my warring thoughts.
“Tuck, huh?” Jackson must not have clocked the tension on my face because he chuckled in a way that shouldn’t have soothed the anger that bubbled in my veins. “Can I call you that?”
As he said it, he bumped his shoulder against mine in an admittedly overly friendly gesture for someone just getting acquainted with their new boss, but I could already tell Jackson Arness was just as open and free as the eagle soaring high in the sky. The move would have been endearing if he hadn’t already gotten so under my skin.
That one single touch, though, was all it took for me to feel on the verge of breaking, and then that damn smell wafted off him. Every single piece of my poorly put-together heart shattered to the floor.
I took a huge step backward from him, shaking my head as I bit back the emotions sitting high in my throat.
“Don’t.” My voice was shredded and rough as I tried with every ounce of strength left in me to keep it together. “Don’t do that shit. We aren’t friends.”
My chest was rising and falling in short pants, my lungs too constricted to get in a full breath. The sound seemed to echo in the barn despite it hardly being silent. Like a trapped animal, my eyes bounced between the shocked and hurt expression on Jackson’s face, the confused one on Granger’s, and the curious but concerned look on Dillon’s, who’d stopped his work and came closer at my outburst.
I was fucking everything up. But I couldn’t be here anymore. I couldn’t be aroundhim.
“Granger can take it from here,” I grunted.
Without waiting for a reply, I turned on my heel and walked out of the barn, the smell of sandalwood and bergamot tormenting me with every step. The back of my eyes stung with the weight of it all.
He’d have to change his cologne. That was an unreasonable ask, but it had to happen.
He couldn’t wear the same cologne as my dead husband.
I wouldn’t survive it.
CHAPTER FOUR
JACKSON
Iwatched Tucker storm from the barn, embarrassment and shame burning hot in my belly. Goddamn, I was the biggest idiot on the face of the planet. I’d let my attraction to Tucker cloud my professionalism, and that momentary lack of judgment might have just cost me my job.
Fuckingfuck!
Who the hell did I think I was? He was my fucking boss, not someone I’d picked up at a bar!
But men like Tucker Legare were my kryptonite. Broody, older, and big enough to toss me around.
Add in all that facial hair, and I was a sucker—one without any control, apparently. I’d needed to know what his body felt against mine, even if it was just for a brief second.
But it wasn’t worth it in the end.
The most I felt was the puff of his jacket and maybe the barest hint of a sturdy shoulder underneath. Nothing worth blowing up my future over. I could already feel the knots in my back forming again from trying to squeeze myself into a comfortable position on my truck’s backseat to sleep.
“Man, what a fucking asshole.” Granger’s voice had me glancing at him. His eyebrows were pulled together, arms crossed over his chest like a disapproving parent, as he stared off to where Tucker had exited the barn.
“It was my fault. I shouldn’t have been so comfortable with him.” I swallowed, nerves over my place on this farm still hanging over my head.
The other man who’d been shucking hay and alfalfa into stalls came over to assume a similar stance as Granger. “Naw, man. Tuck was being a dick for no reason. I know he’s under a lot of stress right now, but he’s going to have to apologize to you.”
Granger gave a succinct nod while my head swam. “Apologize?”
“We’re like a family here, by Tuck’s design. If he hired you on, he deemed you’d be a good fit, so for him to treat you like this is wrong,” the other guy supplied, dropping his arms with a sigh and offering me a hand. “I’m Dillon Baker, by the way.”
I took his, still feeling off-kilter. “Jackson.” Then, with a quick glance at Granger, I added, “So, what I’m hearing is I’m not getting fired over being too fresh with my boss?”
Granger snorted out a laugh. “If a shoulder bump was considered getting fresh, we’d all have been tossed to the curb a long time ago. I think you’ll find the rest of us won’t be winning any awards for professionalism any time soon. We get the job done, but we’re working on a stud farm, for fuck’s sake.”
“But compared to Dudd and Tuck, the rest of us are regular rays of sunshine, so don’t be afraid of making friends,” Dillon chirped as he walked back to continue his task.