I got up on my knees and shuffled toward Theo as though he was a skittish animal.
“You were scared,” I said in a gentle voice. “That’s not irrational.”
“It is.” Theo’s voice cracked, thin and frayed. “You’re not—You’re not mine. I don’t— I don’t get to?—”
“Yes,” I interrupted softly. “Yes, you do.”
Theo’s eyes snapped to mine, wide with disbelief.
“I don’t,” he whispered. “I don’t know how. I don’t know how to want someone without—” He broke off as the lightning flashed, the thunder growled, and the windows rattled. Theo flinched.
I reached out, the motion slow and deliberate. “Theo. Look at me.” I moved close enough to touch, but didn’t.
Not yet.
I needed Theo to meet me halfway.
“Can I touch you?” I asked.
Theo sucked in a breath, then gave a tiny nod, trembling.
I laid my hands gently on Theo’s forearms, and a shudder rolled through him, not from fear, but something akin to relief.
I smiled. “I’m here. You’re okay. Breathe with me?”
Theo’s breathing hitched, but he followed my inhale.
“Good,” I whispered. “Again.”
We breathed together, a slow, anchored sound, and gradually, Theo’s trembling lessened.
Theo closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I murmured. “You were scared.”
Theo opened his eyes again, and I’d never seen someone wear an expression of both devastation and relief. I brushed the hair back from Theo’s forehead, and Theo leaned into the touch, only for a moment but it was enough.
“Why does it feel like losing you would break me when I haven’t even—when we’re not?—”
I swallowed. “Because you care.” My voice came out low and raw.
Theo’s breathing caught.
“And because I care too,” I added.
Theo
I should have moved away.
I should have told Cameron I was fine now.
I should have rebuilt the walls, tidied the edges, put everything back where it belonged.
But I didn’t. Cameron’s hands were warm on my forearms. The storm was still howling outside, and my heart was beating too fast, but no longer from panic, but from proximity, relief…
From wanting.
Something inside me gave way in the quiet.