That was it. No mention of the kiss, the way our bodies had fit, the sound Cameron had made before I’d stopped it, just tea,coffee, and the air thick with whatever it was neither of us was saying.
And it was killing me.
Say something. Anything. Tell him that kiss was the best thing to ever happen to you.
Which it was, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
I grabbed my laptop bag, muttering something about deadlines.
Cameron nodded, his expression unreadable. “It looks pretty awful out there this morning.”
Great. Now we’ve resorted to talking about the weather.
Outside, the wind buffeted me, pushing me along the road to the station. I walked until the rhythm of my steps slowed my breathing, until the memory of Cameron’s mouth stopped playing on a loop.
Except it didn’t stop—it only changed tempo.
I ducked into my usual café, then claimed my corner table. The plan had been to open the laptop and bury myself in work.
My phone claimed my attention, however. I stared at Max’s contact for several seconds before pressing Call.
The voice that answered was half amused, half irritated. “Do you know what time it is?”
I snorted. “Did we have a late night?”
“I don’t know about you, butIcertainly did. So tell me why you’re calling. Because younevercall me at this hour.”
I swallowed. “I might have done something stupid last night.”
There was a pause. “Okay. Have you committed murder? Are you in a police cell? Do I need to bring a cake with a file in it?”
Ordinarily, I would have appreciated Max’s humour, but not this morning.
“Or is it more the case that you didsomeoneand are now regretting it?”
“Have I ever told you how much I hate it that you know me far too well?” I shut my eyes. “It’s Cameron.”
Max exhaled, long and low. “Ah. So the inevitable happened.”
“Not entirely.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “I stopped it.”
“You… youstoppedit?”
“Yes. We never got further than kissing.”
“And how did that feel, Saint Theo?”
I let out a quiet, strangled laugh. “Like I was setting myself on fire and pretending it was discipline.”
Another pause. “Was I right? You’re falling for him?”
“Wrong tense,” I muttered in a rueful tone.
“Ah. I see.”
“I—” I broke off. “He kissed me back as if he needed it like air. And I wanted it more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
“Then why stop, for fuck’s sake?”