I swung my legs over the side of the bed, exhaling hard. The flat was silent.
Too silent.
Is Cameron lying awake on the sofa, replaying the same wreckage?
What haunted me was that I’d ruined the equilibrium between us. I’d felt it as soon as I stepped into the living room the previous night.
Go and make this right.
I pulled on my joggers, walked out of my room and into the living room.
Cameron wasn’t there.
The bedding was folded neatly. His sketchbook sat closed beside it.
Where are you?
I moved to the kitchen, each step grounding and destabilising at once. I set water to boil, pulled out the coffee, and fought the urge to clench my jaw. I needed order and ritual in the morning. I needed predictability.
Cameron was messing with my wiring.
The kettle clicked off. I poured the water too fast, splashing it onto the counter. I hissed a curse and grabbed a cloth.
Pull yourself together.
But that was the problem. Iwastogether, rigidly so. I was held so tightly in place that any small shift, like Cameron’s touch, made the whole structure rattle.
I could still feel Cameron’s hand on my shoulder, light, warm, and trusting. My chest constricted painfully.
I’ve ruined something delicate. I’ve hurt someone gentle.
And the worst part?
Cameron had still looked at me as though I mattered.
I leaned my palms on the countertop, my head bowed. I wasn’t built for this,
for emotions that didn’t fit neatly into boxes, for someone who smiled at me like I was worth the effort.
I’m not built for Cameron.
The front door opened and I straightened quickly.
Cameron came into the kitchen, carrying a bottle of milk. He set it down on the counter. “We ran out, so I went to the shop.” He chuckled. “Who knew the price of milk had doubled overnight?” His hoodie hung loosely over his frame.
“I did warn you. You need to take out a mortgage to buy a week’s groceries from that place.”
Cameron offered a small, careful smile, as though he was testing the air. “Morning.”
I managed something like a nod. “Morning.”
The air felt different, and I hated it. I missed the easy way Cameron had taken up space when he’d first arrived, filled with a soft-edged confidence, warmth radiating from him effortlessly.
Now he was cautious.
Because of me.
“Did you sleep okay?” Cameron asked in a light tone.