Not from Theo, the man who had changed me forever.
I was sixteen years old when you turned my life upside down.
Except at the time, I hadn’t realised the momentous shift that had just taken place.
All I knew was the world went quiet whenever Theo Sinclair looked at me.
It was the summer after my GCSEs. Gary hadn’t come home from college: he and Theo had found a house to rent for their third year, and they’d invited me to stay with them for a week.‘You’ll get a feel for uni life,’Gary had said, which translated asDon’t mope around the house until Mum loses her mind.
So I’d gone, armed with sketchbooks and too much energy, ready to tag along while my big brother and his best friend enjoyed their last weeks of freedom before the next term got started.
A summer I’ll never forget.
Four years ago
Theo opened the door to their flat, barefoot, half-distracted, wearing a T-shirt and the kind of calm I envied.
Maybe that’s because I’m never calm around him.
“Hey, you made it.”
“Yeah.” I tried to sound casual, but it came out more breathless than anything.
Theo had changed since the last time I’d seen him. His shoulders were broader, his jaw somehow sharper, that soft Scottish accent flattened by years away from his roots, but still audible. There was an ease in him that made other people quieter, like gravity with a pulse.
Gary was the loud one, the joker, the one who could charm professors and bouncers alike. Theo was different, a quieter, self-contained kind of person. The kind who made you want to earn his approval.
And God help me, I’d always wanted that.
The first night, we pigged out on Chinese takeaway, a thing Mum never allowed at home, and I ate until I was sure my stomach was about to burst.
It hadn’t stopped me from stealing the last prawn crackers, simply because Theo wanted them. Not that I wanted to rile him.
I just wanted Theo to notice me.
I sprawled on the couch that would be my bed later, listening to Theo strum on his battered guitar.
“Is there any instrument youcan’tplay?” I demanded to know.
Gary snorted. “He’ll try anything once.” He pointed to the corner of the living room where an upright piano stood. “That thing’s seen better days, so the landlord said we could use it. But Theo? He makes it sound like a Steinway.” His lips twitched. “Although he’s not that hot when it comes to woodwind.” His eyes glittered. “Maybe that’s a sign of poor breath control. That might make things… difficult down the line.”
Theo glared at him, and I wondered what I’d missed.
“I’ve been trying to convince Theo to audition for the campus a cappella group again next term,” Gary mumbled, his mouth full of noodles. “Except he could run that group.”
Theo rolled his eyes. “I’m not running anything. I’m done being responsible for people who can’t find middle C.”
I laughed before I could stop myself. Theo glanced over, his eyebrows raised, his eyes lit with amusement. “What’s tickled you?”
“Aren’t you running a choir summer camp this week?” I wanted to go, if only to see Theo in action.
Another eye roll. “I’m doing that under duress. I blame your brother.” He cocked his head to one side. “Do you sing?”
“A bit.” I instantly regretted how small my voice sounded.
Theo’s mouth curved into a smile. “That means yes.”
“He plays guitar too,” Gary added with a grin.