The line I’d spent years telling myself not to cross.
You’re an adult now. Act like one. Don’t be sixteen in a choir room again.
The choir I’d only joined because it had meant being around Theo.
I touched Ben’s arm. “Give me a sec, okay?”
Ben froze for a nanosecond, then recovered. “Sure. I’ll be fine.”
I gave him a reassuring smile, then walked toward Theo’s table, amazed my legs didn’t shake. I didn’t look too closely at what anyone was wearing until I was already too near to turn around. Some of them wore leather, but there were no harnesses or collars like the ones I’d seen around the bar, so I figured they weren’t regulars. Theo’s shirt was open at the collar, and he lounged in his chair in a way that felt instantly familiar. The group with him looked like a chorus line of trouble: laughter that was too loud, glitter, smirks, and silent assessments.
“Small world, huh?” I said, aiming for cocky and landing somewhere shy of it. “Didn’t expect to find you in a place like this.”
My heart thumped, and my mouth did a great impression of the Sahara.
Theo’s throat moved. “You shouldn’t be here.”
That stung.
Theo wasn’t teasing. He wasn’t joking either. That single word—shouldn’t—sent a hot wave of humiliation up my neck to my cheeks and ears. I heard it the way I always did, as judgment. As a door slamming shut.
This place is not for you.
I smiled anyway. I had a thousand smiles. I could put one between myself and anything. “Why not?”
Theo’s gaze was too steady. I wanted to read it and couldn’t.
This is a mistake.
I shook myself. I wasn’t here for a drama. I was here because Ben needed a wingman.
“It’s not exactly your scene,” Theo said.
There it was again. No welcome in his voice at all. My chest tightened, that familiar squeeze I got whenever I didn’t know what box I was supposed to fit into.
I considered telling the truth.
I’m only here to keep a friend from bolting.
I have no idea what I like yet.
I haven’t done anything, not really.
I saw you and forgot how to breathe.
Instead, I flicked the smile down a notch and said, “Maybe it is. Maybe you just don’t know me yet.”
Defence by flirtation.Better to be arrogant than raw. Better to be the guy with the easy laugh than the kid standing there with his heart in his hands.
A guy who looked as if he belonged on a firefighter’s calendar introduced himself. “I’m Oliver.” His warm smile took the edge off the moment. “It’s my turn to buy a round, and seeing as you’re a friend of Theo’s, do you want to join us?”
Friend. I wasn’t sure I’d earned that or if I even wanted it. I turned back toward Ben, to find him gazing with rapt attention at an older guy in leather pants and a harness. I signalled, and when Ben met my gaze, I mouthedAre you okay?
Ben smiled and gave me the thumbs up.
I followed Oliver to the crowded bar because standing there under Theo’s disapproval felt like drowning in slow motion. As we waited to be served, Oliver told me what had brought them all to the bar. I half-listened, catching something about a singing group Theo was forming, together with his friend Max.
Ah. That name rang a bell.