My voice was firm. “But I do.”
“Do you?”
I didn’t answer immediately. “Yes,” I said at last. “And also… no, not always. But that’s true of anything worth doing.”
Gary gazed at his hands. “Theo scares me.”
My lips twitched. “That makes two of us.” Gary jerked his head up, startled, and I smiled. “He’s not dangerous, but heisafraid of himself. And that can look like control from the outside.”
Another slow nod. “I saw that. I just didn’t see you.”
“I know. You saw the power imbalance. The painting.”
“And I completely missed the part where you chose him,” Gary finished.
“Yes.”
Gary stared at me. “He looks at you like you’re oxygen.”
There was suddenly a rock in my throat. “And he thinkshe’spoison.”
Gary winced. “That’s on me too.”
It was my turn to shake my head. “No, that’s older than you.” The way I saw it, Theo’s upbringing might have played a role in that.
Another silence settled, but this one wasn’t as sharp.
“I won’t tell you how to love him,” Gary said finally. “I don’t get a vote. But Idoneed to know one thing.”
I met his gaze once more. “What?”
“If he runs again, will you be okay?”
I didn’t hesitate. “I’ll survive.”
Gary expelled a breath. “That wasn’t the question.”
I thought for a moment. “I won’t let him disappear without saying something this time, but I won’t force him to stay either.”
“That’s healthier than anything I was doing.”
I smiled. “You taught me to stand up for myself. Even if you forgot that.”
Gary’s eyes shone. “You’re not a kid anymore.”
“No.” Another smile. “But I still want my brother.”
He reached across the table, hesitated, then rested his hand over my wrist. “I’m proud of you.”
I blinked. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. And I’m sorry it took me this long to say it.”
My throat was tight again. “Apology accepted.”
We sat there for a while longer, not talking, the hard part finally said.
I didn’t just defend my feelings for Theo. Gary saw the truth of them.