Someone else’s voice filled my head.
“You take too much.”
“You’re too intense.”
“You need too much.”
“You’re embarrassing.”
I wanted to scream “You don’t get to do this anymore. I fuckingdeletedyou, remember?” Of course I could hear him. Why wouldn’t I? That old, ugly programming hit hardest because I was at my softest.
I didn’t do anything wrong. I have nothing to feel guilty about.
My head wasn’t listening.
“If you’re going to think this loudly in the mornings, I’m going to sleep on the couch,” Cameron murmured. I could hear the note of amusement in his voice.
Don’t let him see.
Fake it.
Raw panic surged through me, and I fought to breathe normally.
“Sorry. My brain kicks in as soon as I wake up. It’s a habit.”
Cameron rolled on top of me, and fuck, the feel of him, warm and solid…
“Then let me go make you some coffee.” He kissed me, a lingering, intimate connection that should have set the pattern for my day. Then he smiled. “Wow. Two firsts in one night.”
“Two?”
He nodded. “First time I’ve ever had company while I slept. I liked it.” Then he stilled. “About last night…” His face glowed. “It was amazing. In case I didn’t mention it.”
I forced a smile. “You might have, once or twice.”
He chuckled. “Then I’d better keep repeating it. You know, to let the message sink in.” Another gentle kiss. “I wouldn’t want you to forget how wonderful you are.”
I cupped his cheek. “How are you this morning?”
He grinned. “Well, put it this way.” He slid his hand down to my morning wood and gave it a squeeze. “I know wherethiswas last night. I think my arse is still feeling the aftereffects.”His eyes sparkled. “But that doesn’t mean I won’t be ready for more later.” He glanced at the alarm clock, and his eyes widened. “Muchlater, because I’m going to be late for my class.”
In a flurry of sheets, Cameron launched himself across the room, his bottom jiggling as he dashed toward the door.
Don’t let me ruin this.
Trouble was, I had the feeling I was already on the road to doing just that.
By the time I left for the studio, my nerves felt raw, there was a tingling in my chest, and no matter how many breaths I took, I couldn’t get enough oxygen.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I’d spent the hours after Cameron had left in a fruitless attempt to work, but I couldn’t concentrate.
It wasn’t fair.
What the hell is wrong with simply enjoying sex?
Why does my brain have to mess it up with angst?