“You’ve really thought this through,” she said again, softer this time.
“Every step.” Jack's thumb traced a gentle circle on the back of her hand. “The detective job, the coaching, the apartment above my parents' garage until I find something permanent. I'm not just passing through, Rach. I'm planting roots.”
“Your parents must be over the moon.” Her lips curved at the image of his mom having done a happy dance when he’d told her his plans. She could even imagine the stoic Colt grinning broadly, beaming with pride.
Something cracked open in Rachel's chest. A door she'd carefully locked several years ago, one she'd told herself she'd sealed shut for good. The possibility of Jack being here. Really here. Not at the end of a phone call or an email, but here on the shore, close enough to touch.
“Wow, coaching,” Rachel said, a small laugh escaping her. Her mind filled with the idea of seeing him around more and more. On the baseball field, coaching boys who reminded him of his younger self. In the spaces and places where they'd first fallen in love as teenagers.
It was thrilling and terrifying in equal measure. While happy to see him and hear his new plans, she still had no idea what it would mean for them. Or if it meant anything other than friendship. Suddenly, the idea of him bringing someone he’d met to the Shore or meeting someone here hit her like a spear to the chest.
“What are you thinking?” Jack asked gently, watching her face with an attentiveness that made her heart ache.
“Are you… um… with someone? Bringing someone here to be with you?—”
“No.” His one-word reply was curt, leaving no room for misinterpretation.
She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut, not sure what to say.
“There’s no one,” he said, his voice now softer. “I’m home… by myself for good.”
Rachel nodded, knowing there was a time he could read every nuance of her expressions. “That this is the first time in years that you've told me you're staying without a caveat. Not saying 'but I have to go back in two weeks.' Not telling me that 'the Navy needs me.' Not even suggesting 'I think we should take some time off.’”
Jack flinched at the last one. Just a small, almost imperceptible tightening around his eyes. But Rachel saw it.
“I know,” he murmured. “And I know I don't have the right to expect anything from you. I know I've hurt you, and I know trust takes time to rebuild. I'm not asking for anything, Rach. I just wanted you to know the truth. That I'm here. That I'm staying. And that—” He stopped and swallowed. “That it matters to me that you know my plans.”
Rachel squeezed his hand. The weight of everything unsaid pressed against her ribs… all the years of longing and loss, the midnight tears, the careful emails that never said what they really meant. If she had learned one thing in life, it was that moving forward was the only way to walk. So she pushed those thoughts aside and focused on this moment. On Jack's hand in hers, warm and solid and present.
“It matters to me too,” she said softly. “More than you know.”
They held each other's gaze for a long moment, the noise of the diner fading to nothing. Then Rachel took a breath and smiled.
“So,” she said, squeezing his hand before letting go. “A detective and a baseball coach. My students are going to lose their minds when they find out.”
The tension broke, and Jack laughed the full, genuine laugh that had always made her feel like the sun had come out.
“I guess I’d better start practicing my 'stern authority figure' face,” he said.
“Don't bother,” Rachel teased. “Everyone's just going to see the guy who still has his picture in the school’s trophy case next to the state trophy when we were seniors.”
Jack shook his head, still smiling. And Rachel sat there across from the man she'd never been able to stop loving as he told her he was finally, truly, irrevocably home.
For the first time in years, Rachel let herself believe it might actually be real, but wondered what that meant for her.
19
Jack insisted on covering the check, waving off Rachel's attempts to pay. “I've got it,” he said firmly, tucking his wallet back into his pocket as they slid out of the booth.
Rachel shook her head but didn't argue, and they walked out of the diner together into the bright Saturday morning. The parking lot was fuller now, the weekend crowd trickling in for brunch. They walked to their vehicles, parked side by side. Jack squinted against the sunshine and turned to face Rachel, his hands shoved in his jacket pockets.
“Hey, Rach?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you seeing anyone?” The question came out before he could come up with a more skillful way of wording it. It just fell from his lips, raw and honest, and Jack watched her face carefully as the words landed.
Rachel hesitated. Just a beat, maybe two, but enough to make Jack's heart plunge somewhere down toward his stomach.