We went back out onto the back porch and this time when Beryl sat down in the rocking chair, I sat down on his lap and wrapped my arms around him. He was right. It was quiet out here at the lake except for the occasional owl hoot. My lion alsoheard little animals scurrying around but ignored them because he wasn’t hungry after all the steaks, corn on the cob, and potatoes Beryl had grilled for dinner. He even grilled fish sticks for Jondi.
I rested my forehead against my mate’s and gazed into his eyes.
“Remind me again why I was so against this trip?” I grinned.
“Because you like to be busy but there are times when being still is more productive. Without rest, nothing would ever get done.”
“Maybe,” I said and leaned in for a kiss. It was a long, slow one. Our tongues met between our mouths and if not for the chance of Jondi coming out I might’ve slipped out of his lap and freed his dick right there on the porch. Before we left, we agreed that sex would only happen in our bedroom. Though, the lake was tempting too. Skinny dipping with an orgasm sounded like a great way to spend the rest of the evening.
Instead, when things started heating up, we tiptoed into the bedroom. The door was locked but the baby monitor stayed on just in case. We made love that night in the soft bed on the softer sheets. I lost myself to him and he had to put his hand over my mouth to keep me from crying out my pleasure when I came, making a mess of both of us. Having a kid meant showering and changing the sheets before we passed out for the night. Beryl even unlocked the door before crawling into bed with me. I fell asleep with one ear listening to the baby monitor and one pressed against his chest to listen to his heartbeat.
***
It was surprisingly easy to settle in at the lake house. Every morning, one of us cooked breakfast while the other tended to Jondi. He was old enough to do plenty on his own, but he was usually cuddly in the morning or had a million random questions to ask. After breakfast, I’d check my work emails and avoid social media while Jondi played in his pool or climbed all over Beryl. Then we’d go down to the lake and hang out on the shore while Jondi became a little otter for a bit.
We usually grilled lunch and dinner. A few times, Beryl tried to show Jondi how to fish with a pole but he grew bored of it quickly since in his otter form he caught fishes much quicker. It wasn’t so much a failed bonding experience as a lesson for Beryl in fishing. At least, Jondi tried to teach him to catch fish otter-style. To his credit, Beryl didn’t get bored, but he wasn’t very good at it either. Thankfully, my lion excelled at swiping fish out of the water when he needed to.
We took long walks through the forest and every night one of us rocked Jondi asleep on the back porch. We might’ve stayed out there forever if our families weren’t in the GGB. Sure, I sort of missed work, but it was nice to be out here alone. Even after two weeks of only seeing Beryl and Jondi, I wasn’t bored of them. I talked to my parents and a few friends on the phone here and there. If it wasn’t for Diamond’s upcoming wedding we might’ve stayed on for months.
“Will we come back some day?” Jondi asked when we told him we were leaving in a few days.
“Yeah, definitely, buddy,” Beryl nodded. “Our family owns it. So, we can come on vacation here again.”
“Does this mean I have to go back to school?” he sighed in my direction.
“Only for a little bit before summer vacation,” I promised him.
“Awwww… Dad!” he groaned. “Beryl, can’t you tell him that school is mean!?”
“Hey, I know school can be rough,” Beryl said. “But you can’t let them chase you off. You have every right to be there.”
“Yeah, but does that mean I have to be there?” he groaned.
I had considered homeschooling him again, but his therapist thought it was good for him to socialize. She was probably right, but it still broke my heart to send him anywhere he didn’t want to be.
“You gotta learn stuff sometimes so we can take vacations other times,” Beryl said.
“I guess,” Jondi frowned. “I’d rather take vacations all the time.”
“Me too,” I laughed, “but I have to work and we have to go back for Grandma Diamond’s wedding in a few weeks. She’s going to need our help getting ready for it!”
“Do I have to go to school that day?” Jondi asked, a hopeful light twinkling in his little otter eyes.
“Nope. It’s on a Saturday,” I laughed.
“She should make it on a Monday. Then it could be a school holiday,” Jondi said.
“We’ll ask her,” Beryl laughed. “Now do you want to go swimming or for a walk?”
“SWIMMING!” Jondi cheered.
***
The morning that we were supposed to leave I woke feeling like I swallowed one of the frogs that had spent most of the previous night croaking and keeping me awake. Normally, I slept through little animal sounds but that night nothing could settle me down. Jondi and Beryl slept like two logs, but I lay awake thinking about work, the future, and everything in between. I even tried doom scrolling myself to sleep but nothing worked. I passed out shortly before sunrise, wondering if it was dreading my return to social media that kept me awake.
Just a few hours later, I woke to the smelling of sizzling bacon and eggs. There was a lump in my throat like I had groomed someone’s mane all night instead of trying to go to sleep. Then my stomach flipflopped in every direction as if I’d swallowed one of those croaking frogs and it was trying to escape. I barely made it to the bathroom before everything in my stomach landed on the eject button. I hadn’t worshipped the porcelain throne since one night in college when Eran and I broke up and I got so drunk that I was admitted to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. That was the last night I ever had more than a singular drink unless it was wine which my body burnt through quickly. I never drank when I had kids, though. That night I fully believed I was dying alone without ever being loved. Thinking of that while throwing up made me want to cry. I had been so loved by my family, pride, group, and even Eran. Only not in the way I thought I wanted him to love me.
Beryl’s footsteps sounded off in the hall and I shut the bathroom door before he made it into the bedroom. I didn’t want him to see me throwing up and crying for a version of me thatdidn’t even exist anymore. After that night, I went to therapy and stopped measuring my worth by the guys I did or didn’t date. That was what probably saved my friendship with Eran. That was probably the reason I never fell into alcoholism. That and nearly dying sort of did the trick too.