God, kill me now.
“What is your primary emotion? Are you angry? Sad? Afraid?”
“Annoyed,” I fell onto my back, staring at the ceiling for maybe the first time. “What the hell is all over the roof?” I asked, peering closer at the dried splotches.
“Yeah, don’t touch that. I am not saying it is recruit jizz, but I am also not saying it’s not.”
“Fucking hell! You let them borrow the car?” I kicked his seat.
“No,” he made a face. “I did notletthem do shit. They stole it in a fuck-run after their naming night. Also, when the hell did I become their babysitter? Can we lovingly pass that shit off to gimpy?”
I glared. Blade could barely wipe his own ass, much less mentor baby criminals.
“Okay, maybe not Blade. But not me. I am over it. Now,” he threw more food at me. “Primary emotion.”
“Nathem,” I held my eyes shut. “I wanted Threx and Daphne to figure out their shit. It is why I took him there! Drop it.”
Nathem slammed on the brakes.
“Have you lost your goddamn mind?” I shouted, nearly landing on my face.
“Primary emotion,” he demanded when several cars swerved into the side lanes.
“You’re going to get us fucking killed!”
“PRIMARY EMOTION!”
“HURT!” I shouted. “And not because they had sex. Or because she loves him more than me, but because Threx GAVE her more than I did. Now, fucking drive!”
I blinked, the words lodging somewhere I couldn’t cut them out.
“For years,” I blurted, driving my fist into the leather seat. “Daphne and I would play this little game. I’d ask her how dark she wanted to go on a scale from one to ten, and she would respond.”
Nathem smiled, loving that about her. We all did.
“However, in all the years we’ve been together, Daphne has never once given me a ten. Not fucking once. And up until yesterday, I never questioned why. It was a number that belonged to Threx. You know it. I know it! The whole fucking universe knows it.”
“True,” Nathem nodded. “I mean, they certainly make you believe in God.”
“Exactly. Plus, withholding that number also kept her safe. It meant that I could never fully consume her. But after watchingthe way he spoon-fed his soul into her body last night, I realized that I had never given her a ten either.”
As Nathem turned onto the ramp north, the landscape began to change, the city falling away into a stretch of green and overcast skies.
“It is hard to do that with someone you do not view as yours,” he made a point, swerving around a Ford.
“Or if you lack the necessary anatomy to play the part.”
“What do you mean?” Nathem asked.
“I don’t have a soul or a heart. The only way I knew how to prove my love to her was by being the one thing she always needed, which up until yesterday was fucking THREX!”
“And now you have to be Wolfe,” he smiled at me, passing me a fresh pack of cigarettes. “And you’re afraid it won’t be enough.”
I rolled my neck, pressing the nicotine stick between my lips and exhaled.
“I am not afraid, Nathem. I won’t be.”
“Look, boss,” Nathem took a breath, veering onto one of the many logging roads that sat forgotten along the highway. “Daphne is a strong-willed, pain-in-the-ass who loves louder than anyone I know and doesn’t apologize for it. The fact that she didn’t kick your ass back to Seattle the moment Threx made all her dreams come true means you already live inside her. She loves you.”