Arietta knew Hilary wanted to ask about the blackmail. She knew Hilary wanted to ruin her happiness, if only because Hilary cared so much.
“It’s all taken care of,” Arietta said breezily, not for the first time. “Everything’s all right. It will always be all right.” She said it because she had to believe it.
“That’s so good to hear, honey,” Hilary said. “But we know it’s still early days for you, so soon after what happened to Fred. You should come back to the house soon and talk with us. We know all these stages better than most.”
Arietta knew that Hilary meant the stages of grief. But she also knew that she didn’t have time to dwell on those stages. She had to take care of Fred, who was still alive. She had to write her article, which was going swimmingly. And she had to spend time with Shannon, who was fast becoming her very best friend. Did all mothers get to feel this way about one of their daughters? She reminded herself to be grateful for all she had rather than dwell on what she’d lost.
Two hours later,a DJ arrived and set up his speakers and his albums, and Arietta found herself dancing by the pool, her hands in the air, her arms covered in gooey pink and purple lights from a light system someone had hung from the porch overlooking the pool. Again, she felt younger than she had in years. She watched as the light flickered against her wedding ring. For the first time, she wondered how much longer she would wear it.
As soon as she’d thought this horrible thing, her smile fell off her face. Jasper noticed and came over to her, bobbing as hedanced and walked. “Hey there,” he said, smiling. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine,” she said, trying to brighten her face.
“You want to take a break by the water?” he asked.
Arietta nodded, then followed Jasper down to the sand, where they took off their shoes and dipped their toes in the water. Arietta closed her eyes and felt droplets of the ocean across her face and nose. She imagined diving into the black waves and swimming out, so that she could listen to the music of the party at a distance as she floated on her back. But she knew that was dangerous.
“Everyone loves you,” Jasper said, laughing.
“Everyone lovesyou! I’ve seen at least five women ogling you,” she cried.
“I don’t know about that.” Jasper shrugged.
“I do. Maybe that’s why your wife divorced you? She couldn’t take it,” she said. “Everyone falls in love with you like that.” She snapped her fingers.
Jasper threw his head back in laughter. “She divorced me because we were never right for each other.”
“When did you know you weren’t right for each other?” Arietta asked.
“You mean, at what point in the marriage did I know?” Jasper asked.
Arietta nodded.
Jasper considered this, kicking at the water. “Maybe ten years ago,” he said. “But ten years can get away from you. You turn around, and suddenly, you’re in your fifties, and you’re getting older and older, and the person you married isn’t the right person. You know?” A split-second later, Jasper’s face collapsed. “I’m sorry. That isn’t your situation. Yours is very different.”
But Arietta understood what he meant. She remembered two years ago, the summer after her mother died, when Fred had seemed like a stranger to her. She’d been frightened that he was going to suggest divorce. She’d been frightened that they’d have to explain how they’d “drifted apart” to the girls. At least three times, she’d considered asking Fred what was on his mind. She’d imagined saying, “Do you still love me, my darling?”
Maybe she hadn’t been brave enough.
“Jasper!” A woman called his name from the veranda overlooking the black water. “Jasper, are you out there?”
Jasper raised his chin and narrowed his eyes. Arietta turned to follow his gaze. A beautiful woman in her early forties was searching for him. Arietta wondered whether something romantic was brewing between them. She wondered if Jasper was going to invite the woman to his hotel, where they’d kiss and talk all night. Arietta swallowed down her jealousy and smiled.
“I think you’re needed back at the party, Mr. Harris,” she said.
Jasper laughed. “We both are. Come along?” He stuck out his elbow and waited for her to lace her arm through his.
But Arietta no longer wanted to return to that boisterous party. She no longer wanted to drop from one conversation to the next. She knew she’d had a few too many wines to drive home, and she knew, too, that drivers on staff were waiting to take people home.
“I’m going to head out,” she said.
After a look of sorrowful understanding, Jasper wrapped her in a friendly hug, then whispered in her ear, “It was wonderful of you to come. You saved me tonight. I can’t take these miserable rich people all the time.”
Arietta laughed. “I’m a miserable rich person.”
“No, you’re not,” Jasper said firmly. “And neither am I.”
Arietta knew what he meant. Neither of them had come from wealth, so they knew the other end of the money spectrum. They knew what it meant to have nothing.