“Well, I hope you find her someday.”I don’t mean for it to come out as bitterly as it does, but my heart is breaking.It has been for weeks.The song shifts, and he pulls me closer.I let him.Because I’m savoring tonight, and he is part of the savoring, and goddammit, why does Griff Keegan fit so perfectly against me?
“Why do you think I haven’t found her?”he asks into the hollow of my neck.My eyes flutter shut.I can’t answer that.So we dance without talking, a silence between us that says way too much.
The night blurs on in the best way possible.Between dancing, champagne, photo ops, and having so many loved ones around us, I’m able to forget for pockets of time that my future with Griffin remains undecided.
But on the drive home, the truth returns.I’m tipsy and getting mad.I’m tired of the hot and cold.He’s had so many opportunities to try to prolong what has grown between us, and he’s chosen not to at every turn.I stew in the quiet ride.He drives with one hand on the wheel and one resting on the console between us.The dark Bayshore streets slide past, and I wonder what living here is going to be like once I’m decompressing from this love affair with my best friend.
Inside the house, we move through the routine: keys on the hook, shoes by the door, lights clicked on low.Griffin loosens his tie, and I set my clutch on the counter.But where I’d usually melt into him, I stay firm.
“Tonight was so beautiful,” I say with a tight smile.Just to say something.
“It was.”He pours himself a glass of water, looking extra tired.
“I’m heading to Chicago Monday morning,” I tell him.“I’m going to wrap up the final details there with transferring my lease, and then I’ll organize my storage unit before the moving company brings it all to Ohio.I’ll be there for a few days, then I can get my things from here when I get back.”
He nods, studying something inscrutable on the countertop.
Say something, Griffin.Fight for us.
Silence pounds between us.Just as I’m about to open my mouth and try to give a voice to all my doubts and curiosities, Griffin speaks.
“We should call it a night.”
“Yeah.I had so much champagne.”I laugh, but it sounds hollow.
He drains the water and sets the glass in the sink.Then he breezes past me with a soft “Night, Case” and disappears into the bathroom.
Once the door clicks shut behind him, everything inside me deflates.
Maybe I’m tired.Or maybe I’m tipsy.
But it seems like this man has already moved on.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CASEY
After not sharing a bed with Griffin that night, I expect him to whine about it in the morning.
But when I find him in the kitchen sipping coffee alone just after eight, he barely looks my way.
“Morning,” I say, heading for the coffee pot.He tosses me a half-hearted smile and resumes looking at his phone.Immediately my chest tightens.
There’s a ravine between us now.I wouldn’t even feel right giving him my standard morning kiss.Much less hopping into his arms and doing our trademark koala hug.
I serve myself a mug of coffee, my heart pounding against my ribs.It’s too early for this much emotion.But we’ve been slowly breaking up for days now, and I just need to rip the Band-Aid off.I can’t stand this lingering, this avoiding, this half-in/half-out.
And then I notice the piles of books across the room.My books.Stacked on the coffee table.The filming equipment, neatly dismantled and organized.There’s a pile of folded hoodies of mine that were in the laundry now next to the books.And there’s a stack of flattened cardboard boxes in the corner, like he had them delivered from somewhere first thing this morning.
I haven’t even had my first sip of coffee and already the tears are here.
“Oh,” I say on an exhale.“You’ve been packing my things?”
He runs a hand through his hair, avoiding my gaze.He’s fully expressionless.“You’ve got a lot to pack.I wanted to help.”
My chest feels so tight that it could crack.“I feel like I should say thanks, but I don’t want to.”
“You told me you’d be coming back for it after Chicago.”His voice is level, measured.“I’m leaving Tuesday for at least a week.Thought I would help where I can.”