I nod.That’s all it should be.“Yeah.”
“Friends with benefits.”
“Exactly,” I agree, even though there’s something inside me that is shattering.“Great friends, even greater benefits.”
He looks over at me, then nods.“Yeah.”
“I don’t expect you to be…my boyfriend.”I can barely say the word, only because Griffin as my boyfriend would be heaven on earth.
“I can’t be anybody’s boyfriend,” Griffin says, shrugging.“Just not in the cards for me.”
“Right,” I say, feeling oddly wounded.Like maybe our incredible few days of sex would have changed everything for him, prompted a come-to-Jesus moment where he realized I was the woman he’d been waiting for his entire life.
But no.This is going to be a puck bunny situation, and I need to be okay with it.
“I mean, it makes sense,” I go on, eager to distract myself from the nervous churn in my belly.“You know what you want, and it’s casual sex, good fun.I know what I want, and it’s something like this until, you know, I move back to Chicago and I find the right man.”
Griff lifts a brow.“What’s he like?”
I stare out the window, trying to find a way to not describe Griffin to a tee.“I don’t know yet.I want to be with someone who wants to grow with me.Someone I can come home to every night.Make dinner together.Share our wins and our losses.Date nights.It sounds so stupid and basic, but Jake never gave me that.I had to schedule time.I was an afterthought.He wanted a trophy on his shelf, not a partner in daily life.”
Griffin nods, scratching absent-mindedly at his arm as he drives.His lack of a response is odd to me.I can tell there’s more beneath the surface.
“So, we shouldn’t tell our friends, right?”It’s weird to talk about the terms of this arrangement.It should be easy and fun, but I already know our friends will gettooinvested if they learn about this.
“Absolutely not,” Griffin says with a laugh.He pulls into his driveway and cuts the engine.“Let’s just keep doing what we’re doing.We can be friends in public, and way more than friends in private.”
“Let’s keep the benefits flowing,” I joke, slipping out of the truck.Then I remember what was bothering me over his endorsement weekend.Once we hit the porch, I hold up a hand.“Okay, one more question.”
“Shoot.”Griffin unlocks the door, then ushers me inside with a hand on my lower back.
“You’re not getting benefits with…anyone else, right?”
He looks taken aback.“No.Definitely not.”
“Okay.”I pause.“Me neither.”Not that he expressed any worry about that.I feel a little out of my element with this.He probably does this so often it’s second nature.And here I am, in my first friends-with-benefits situation, fully ready to marry the guy.
“Are you ready for your next round of benefits to be released?”he asks as we step inside.I burst into laughter.
“Is it health insurance or is it sex?”I tease, dropping my bag on the small bench near the front door.I slip my shoes off, placing them neatly in their assigned spot as he does the same.I’ve barely turned around before Griffin sweeps me off my feet.Suddenly I’m airborne and giggling.
“Where are you taking me?”
“Wherever we can go explore the benefits package.”
“What about the couch?”
He grunts, veering in that direction.“Excellent idea.I’ve had a fantasy about bending you over the side of this thing.”
This information delights me.I still can’t believe that this six foot three hunk of gorgeous manhood has fantasies aboutme.I’m a bookworm who spills drinks on herself at parties and has an older sister complex, hardly someone to fantasize about.But clearly there’s something he likes.He sets me down gently then gets to work undoing the button of my work capris.He’s got them peeled off and is working on my underwear when I realize what he’s angling for.
“Oh, wait,” I protest, suddenly embarrassed.“I worked all day, maybe I should get in the shower—”
He shakes his head, cupping my now-bare ass cheeks beneath his huge palms.“Nope.Can’t wait.”
“Griffin.”I wriggle my hips as he presses kisses along my naked inner thigh.“This is the first time you’re doing this.I want it to be—”
“Hot?It already is.”