How did I forget Joan?
And why, if I forgot her so thoroughly, am I recalling her now?
I watch her, searching her face as if for clues, hardly caring about the senseless game being played.And Joan’s eyes slant up, her gaze angled at me from beneath her hair.For a moment, her face flickers, overlaid by that of the female ghost that spoke to me.And I see it.
My throat swells.I remember the way nearly half her lips had been shredded, as if an animal had swiped at her with vicious intent.I remember the signs of other gashes, dried blood, and torn clothes that might once have been decent.Suddenly, I remember a tear at her throat ...as if she’d been violently bitten.
Joan’s gaze drops back to the game, and the ghostly overlay vanishes, but I understand.They are one and the same, past and present.
The scream rips from me before I even register it, building.
It has the merciful effect of tearing me from that place, that lost and bittersweet memory, and I come back to myself much the same way as when I wake from any nightmare.Shaking, gasping, and choking on a sob.Except this time I remember why, and I so desperately wish I didn’t.
The door bursts open, and seconds later, Scarlet is dragging me to the edge of the bed and running her hands over me like a worried mother.Or the way I presume a decent mother would worry.“Shit, Harlow, even I heard that.What happened?Are you okay?”
“There’s no one else here.”The calmer voice is Kyson’s.Of course.
I open my mouth to speak, to answer Scarlet’s concerns or to thank them or to at least comment on them being in Mateo’s room, but all I can do is whimper and cry.The tears won’t stop.
I assume—I hope—that’s the reason for Mateo’s escalating sense of urgency and panic.
On cue, Kyson says, “You’re going to worry him if you can’t calm down.”
I try to nod, but my fingers dig into Scarlet’s nearest arm, betraying me.
“Why don’t we go downstairs and sit with everyone?”Scarlet suggests.“If you and I sit together, Elfde will join us.That might help you settle for now.”She gently strokes a hand down my hair and softens her voice.“Is it Mateo?Is he in trouble?”
“I can send some more men to back them up.”
This time, I manage a smile, however weak, for Kyson’s offer.He’s being weirdly nice, and that has me more embarrassed than anything else.I shake my head and drag in a hard breath.“D—downstairs,” I stammer, “would be nice.”I shift my gaze to Scarlet.“Do you mind?”I generally hate being so weak or dependent on others after everything, but whatever’s going on in my mind ...I can’t fight it alone.
Mateo needs to get his ass home.
I need to calm down so he doesn’t get himself killed in the attempt.
Scarlet helps me to stand, and I have a moment, like an out-of-body experience, where I’m grateful Mateo apparently fixed my clothes because otherwise the embarrassment I thought I had been feeling would be laughable in comparison.By the time I can shake the sensation, we’re already in the hall, and another vampire I recognize, having met but whose name I’ve forgotten, is lingering by the stairs.
We all make our way to a smaller sitting room, one less impacted by the recent house bombing, and Scarlet pulls me down to sit with her on the large sofa.
Lily sweeps in seconds later with a tray and three steaming mugs.“I made tea.”She offers me a smile.
I force one in return.I may have to talk to Mateo about building a separate home on the property, or finding a way for me to survive without ever sleeping again, because this is humiliating.Except I wasn’t even asleep.
I accept the drink, inhale the herbal aroma, and set it on my lap.Lily, Scarlet, Kyson, and the other guy are the only ones in the room currently, but that’s actually preferable.“If ...if we’re going to live together,” I begin, having no idea how to tell this many near-strangers and also knowing I should, “there’s something about me you should know.”
Lily makes a humming noise.“Let me guess,” she says as she moves to plop herself into a single, wing-backed chair.“You have a strange, unique ability you don’t know how to talk about?”She raises both brows as she proceeds to blow into her tea.
I blink, and my mouth opens, but a moment passes before I manage, “Do—do you also—”
Scarlet bumps my arm with her elbow.“Yourscan’tbe worse than mine.”
I twist my neck to gape at the redhead.It’s not even fair that she’s beautiful and a total badassandapparently has an ability of her own.I can’t imagine what her gift could be that she detests it as much as her words suggest.
Kyson rumbles as if he might be chuckling.“It’s not all that bad, Red.”
Scarlet turns enough to narrow her eyes up at him, as he’s leaning against the wall on her side of the sofa.“You’re the only one who thinks so.”
I clearly see him raise a brow in challenge.“Am I?”he asks.