“I got a job offer,” I said.
His gorgeous face lit up, and his joy for me was a stab to the gut. He was plainly happy for me. He didn’t know that Brody was the source of the offer or that it meant I would have to leave.
“Vera, that’s great. You never mentioned that you were looking, though.” There it was. Just the slightest bit of hurt that I hadn’t shared something with him. “Is it something you’re excited about?”
I nodded slowly. “It’s an industry job. Something creative.”
He was taken aback, but not in an insulting way. “We have to celebrate. Tonight! I’m taking you out.”
This felt too good. I enjoyed this too much. The thought of him being excited for me. The thought of us sharing our lives in this way. “Eli.” I reached across the table for his hand, which he freely gave. “The offer is in LA. With Brody.”
He stilled for a moment before running his tongue along his lower lip and nodding to himself. “Okay.”
I pulled away, letting go of his hand. “That’s all you have to say?”
He leaned back in his chair with an air of indifference, hands braced on his thighs. “What more do you want me to say, Vera? Your mind seems to be made up.”
“It’s not entirely,” I said softly. I wanted his input. I wanted him to tell me it was okay.
“Make up your mind and then we can talk,” he said in a chilly tone. “I’m not your boss. I can’t counter the offer.”
“I wish you would tell me what you think.”
“Does it matter, Vera? I think I’ve made it perfectly clear what I want. But right now, you springing this on me and then waiting for my response like it’s some kind of test... it’s not fair. You want a reaction from me? Why? Because you need me to be the reason you stay? The reason you say no to Brody, who has never,everbeen a good employer or friend.” His voice dropped. “Or lover. I’ve asked you to move in with me, for Christ’s sake.”
“Youleft,” I reminded him. “Nineteen years ago, you left. So excuse me if my first inclination isn’t to throw myself on the tracks for... whatever this is. I don’t even know if you’re my boyfriend, Eli.”
“Vera.” He sighed heavily. “Boyfriendis too simple a word for what I want to be to you.” He slid his chair back. “The real question is: What do youwantto be to me? What do you want us to be? Because right now you throwing out Brody’s job offer as casual morning chitchat feels like you’re waiting for me to jump first instead of just deciding what you want and where we fit into your life. So what’s it going to be? Tell me what we are.”
My throat was sandpaper and the only word I managed to get out was his name. “Eli.”
With downward-turned lips and a soft voice, he said, “You couldn’t take a risk if it was going to save the world. You want to know why it’s easier to tell me about this job offer and wait to see what I do or say?” He stood then, his eyes hooking into me. “Because it’s safer. It guarantees that only one of us has to put their heart on the line.”
“That’s not fair,” I told him. “The last few months have been one giant risk. I left everything behind when I came here.”
“Coming here wasn’t a choice. It was a last resort. But congratulations, Vera. I’m so glad Brody finally woke the fuck up and offered you the job you deserved years ago. I hope this Venus flytrap he’s set for you pans out.”
“Eli,” I called, my shoulders sinking, but the door to his room was already slamming shut. My eyes began to brim and tears spilled down my cheeks.
I looked down at my phone to find a text from Brody.
Brody:
Did you see the offer letter? Come into town for a few days and we can discuss. I’ll set you up in the pool house.
Chapter Fifty-Four
“Mr. Turner will be with you in just a few minutes,” said Holly. Or maybe it was Molly.
Brody had hired three new assistants since I’d left and they were all girls under the age of twenty-two with names ending inYwho wore clothing so trendy that it was ugly in an ironic way. (At least, I thought so.) Or maybe I was just uncomfortable with how reminiscent it was of something I would have seen in a dELiA*s catalog in high school.
“Does he have you call him that?” I asked.
She blinked at me blankly. “By his name?”
“Well, yes, butMr. Turner. He doesn’t go byBrody?”
“I was raised to respect my elders,” she said.