“Just because something’s on the menu doesn’t mean everyone’s ordering it, but it’s fair to say that Starlight Palms has a progressive reputation.”
“It seems like a lot for an aging population,” I said. “No offense.”
“Oh, honey.” Vera grinned. “There are cases of Viagra.Cases.And the lube. Did you know they have lube these days for coolingandwarming?”
Well, good for them, I supposed. But I could think of no lonelier place on earth than being surrounded by a community of constantly boning elderly. I needed a plan to get back on my feet and I needed it yesterday.
“Now, if you’re going to stay here,” Ruby said, “there are rules. Obviously, lie low since you’re not an approved guest. And second, I’ve waited a long time for this chapter of my life, and while I’m happy to share my home with you again, I would appreciate it if you didn’t get in the way of my... recreational activities. I plan on reaping the rewards of a lifetime of sacrifice and hard work with as many partners as I please.”
I glanced toward the door, where my grandmother’s three bed partners had just exited.
“Don’t worry. There are lots of snoops and gossips at Starlight Palms, but none ofmyfriends are going to tattle on you. Just be discreet when you’re unpacking your car.”
“Thanks, Rubes,” I said, still mentally recovering from what I’d just witnessed. “I promise not to get in the way of your... sexcapades.”
She put Marlon back in my lap and went to pour my cup of coffee. She even pulled out my favorite caramel creamer and the exact right amount of sugar. “All right, now tell me exactly what happened.”
Chapter Five
I’d give Ruby this: She was a great audience to share my story with. She hissed and gasped at all the appropriate moments and practically cheered when I told her about the souvenirs I’d taken before leaving.
That night, we ordered shahi paneer and veggie pakora and Ruby insisted I display the ally award on the mantel. She also made me watch her latest obsession,Vanderpump Rules, with her while she filled me in on all the context I needed. Then she went to bed (alone, surprisingly) and I partially unpacked the car under the cover of night.
I made up the chaise longue with the bedding from the pool house and severely regretted my decision not to strap the mattress to the roof of my car. Marlon cuddled up at my feet while I finally brought myself to reread my resignation, which was time-stamped at 2:42 a.m. Surely nothing about that or the run-on sentences looked unhinged.
Next were all the texts I’d received from Brody throughout the day and managed to ignore.
Brody:
I just got your email. Let’s talk about this when I get back. But are you sure this is what you want?
I rolled my eyes at the thought of him secretly being relieved that he didn’t have to fire me himself.
Brody:
Sammy said you left today. Like for real. Are you serious, Vera? Can you please call me? Please?
A sick little part of me took glee in his panic.
Of course, I hadn’t left things a mess for him, but Brody barely knew how to function without me. I’d been his assistant since college and went full time as soon as he could afford me. He didn’t even have numbers saved in his phone beyond mine and a few others’. The guy couldn’t figure out how to make a dentist appointment without me, let alone access his own calendar.
Brody:
You’re not answering and we’re off the grid camping for the next few days. Please get in touch with Erin or Savannah when you can. We need to talk.
Brody:
That’s great aboutThe Wunderkind, though. I know you’ve been working on that thing forever.
Brody:
Hey, I just checked in with Erin and she’d love to talk to you before you follow through with the sale. Her assistant should be sending over some times to meet with you.
My script. Uh. Oops.
I may have possibly told a white lie in my resignation and said thatThe Wunderkindhad sold... at auction. And that I needed to dedicate time to editing immediately.
Fuck. Brody’s agent, Erin, was an absolute shark. The kind of person who fought viciously on her client’s behalf and had studios saying “Thank you, Mommy. May I have another?” She was an agent I’d absolutely die to have in my corner, but also one I definitely didn’t want to cross. (For example: with a made-up offer from a made-up studio on a dusty old script that had sat like a fossil in my computer outside of a few adult-beverage-induced partial rereads.)