“Kendall, can I talk to you for a second?” she asks.
“Sure.”
“Go. I’ll watch him for a few,” Kai says winking.
She walks over to the large windows that look out into the courtyard of the library and I follow her. Veronica is clasping her upper arms and glancing down at her feet. She’s definitely nervous. This isn’t someone who has ever had to eat her wordsand subsequently swallow her pride. I’m certain of it. Kai’s little stunt has accomplished its intended effect.
So then why do I feel so sleazy about it?
She clears her throat awkwardly. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what I said about you and Kai. I was obviously very wrong and he’s clearly crazy about you,” she observes quietly.
“Veronica, it’s fine. It’s not a big deal,” I respond. Even though it had been, even though her hurtful words had stayed with me long after she uttered them.
“No, it’s not,” she admits, picking at her nails. “I get like that, you know? I had a hard time in high school. I was bullied pretty badly and I didn’t have a lot of friends. It’s not an excuse. I’m just trying to say that I learned early on the best defense was a good offense. Things only got worse in college and now I have a husband that barely speaks to me…” she trails off. “But anyways, I’m sorry.”
For the first time, I see Veronica for exactly who she is. Someone who has tried and desperately needs to protect herself. Someone whose self-worth and confidence have been chipped away at so thoroughly, the only way she can rebuild it is on the backs of others. She isn’t some selfish cruel bitch, at least not entirely. At one point, she’d probably been exactly like me—hiding in a bathroom stall listening and sobbing while other girls tore her apart. Or worse. And I know intimately those wounds don’t always fully heal. What she needs from me isn’t more anger or more hatred, more reasons to believe women are only out to get each other. What she needs and may not deserve is grace.
“Would you ever want to get drinks or dinner with me and Emma? Sometimes we get together outside of playgroup, you know, without the kids,” I say smiling. It’s real, genuine, inviting. Probably the first time I’ve ever smiled at her willingly.
“Sure,” she replies. “I’d love that.”
I don’t envy Veronica, not anymore. And I won’t be holding a grudge against her either. So many of us hide who we are, our pain, our secrets underneath a mask that we show the world. Everyone from time to time has to protect their hearts the only way they know how, with fangs and venom. But how many of us, when given the opportunity, actually admit fault, accept blame, and attempt to repair the damage? Veronica did. At least she’s trying. And I suspect it’s taken a lot to get her here. I certainly am not going to get in the way of that. It seems like more than anything, Veronica needs a friend and I’m in no position to turn one of those down.
When I return to Kai and sidle up next to him, he hands Akio back to me.
“How’d it go?” he asks, slinging his arm around my shoulder.
“Better than I thought it would,” I say. He gives me a lopsided grin as the three of us walk out of the library together.
Chapter 68
Kai
Outsideofhockey,thearena where I shine brightest is loving Kendall, adoring her, and making sure she knows every day how much she means to me. All those things come naturally to me because she’s just soeasyto love and call mine. She always has been.
It’s early May, a month after we broke our pact. Spring is in full bloom in Boston, flowers budding, greenery taking over, and the sun trying its hardest to break free of winter's icy grasp.
Spoiling Kendall and Akio has become one of my favorite pastimes and when I heard about the upcoming charity gala, sponsored in part by the Bucks, an idea began forming in my head. She deserves one night free of diapers and making dinner and caring for other people. One night where she can feel glamorous, dance, eat delicious food, and drink expensive wine. I’ve planned and plotted meticulously down to the very last detail, including having a dress tailored, hiring a team of makeup artists so she doesn’t have to lift a finger, and enlisting her moms to help with childcare. In a shocking turn of events, Veronica offered to babysit Maddox and Akio until Kendall’smoms could relieve her. Emma it seems is also going to the gala as Jax’s official date. All that’s left is the surprise, the grand reveal.
***
Kendall
I think Akio took Taylor’s favorite toy by accident, a white plush unicorn.
She had it yesterday when we all got together. Can I stop by real quick to check?
She’ll be a gremlin at bedtime without it.
Sure. I don’t remember seeing a unicorn anywhere though
IrespondtoVeronica'stextwhile rifling through my bag, before I enter my apartment with Akio. But as soon as I open my door, I know something is off. It feels like someone has been here, like their presence is still lingering, clinging to the air. But that doesn’t make sense. The only person who has a key, other than my moms, is Kai.
Why would he be here without telling me?
Nothing looks out of place or disheveled, at least not in the entryway or kitchen. I pick up Akio quickly and check his room first, my heart rate skyrocketing as I crack the door open. Everything looks the same there, his bed unmade, his toys littering the ground. Maybe I’m just being paranoid. But then I reach my room and it’s clear someone has been in it. There’s a large garment bag lying on my bed with a note. This doesn’tappear to be the work of a serial killer or burglar. Not that I have anything of much value to steal. I pick up the note written on off white thick card stock. It’s in Kai’s handwriting.
Thank fucking god.