“Fine, meet me tomorrow. The same place. Same time. Clearly there’s things we need to talk about.”
I have to do this. I have to give him some shred of hope or he probably won’t leave. The frightening unknowns are happening now whether I want them to or not. The alluring possibility ofmoreis standing right in front of me and for the first time, I want to reach out and take it.
“If I meet you tomorrow, you’ll leave and let me get through the rest of my shift in peace?” I stipulate.
“Yes,” he says, a small grin taking over his face. Jesus thatfucking grinmakes my heart stutter and my brain short out. That smile alone could level cities. “But don’t think I won’t come back if you stand me up again.”
“Okay. Tomorrow,” I confirm.
“Tomorrow,” he repeats, moving closer to me and holding his hand out. I reluctantly place my palm in his and smother the urge to gasp because of how good it feels to be near him again. I already know I’m in over my fucking head. Before I can draw my hand away, he tugs me the slightest bit closer, leaning in. I forgot how large he was, how captivating his presence could be. How easy it was to be consumed by everything that wasKai. His breath warms my face, the scent of his cologne, woodsy and clean with a hint of spice. It overpowers the rational part of my brain and sends tingles skittering down my spine. “You look beautiful today by the way,” he whispers in my ear and his stubble almost,almosttickles my cheek.
Dangerous.This is dangerous, my brain yells. And yet when he takes a step backwards and releases my hand, I have to fight the instinct to reach for him again.
Then this devastating, enchanting man walks away, like he didn’t just land a lethal blow to my self-control and my rapidly beating heart. It’s impossible to peel my eyes away from him as he says his goodbyes to his teammates and mumbles something to Jonah. Then he waltzes through the front door, confident and unbothered, and every female head swivels to his towering frame as he does.
Two hours later, their group of ten leaves and I can finally take a full breath. I start clearing their tables when I feel someone hovering behind me.
“Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to be creepy,” he says as I turn around to face him. I recognize him from some of the articles I had read about the Bucks and my recent social media stalking. He’s tall, not quite as tall as Kai, with warm light eyes, multiple piercings, and perfectly manicured short brown hair. He has a slight tan even though it’s the dead of winter and rings adorn every finger. He is objectively, undeniably attractive and I get the sense he is someone who is very comfortable in his body.
What is it with these hockey guys? Is unlimited sex appeal a prerequisite to playing in the NHL?
He smiles awkwardly, his hand ringing the back of his neck.
“I’m Jonah by the way.”
“I gathered that. I’m Kendall, but I suppose you already know that,” I say while picking up used napkins and collecting plates.
“He would kill me if he found out I told you this but he never got over you, you know?” he says quietly.
“Somehow I doubt that,” I scoff.
“I’m serious. He was a mess for a while. I think he just hides it better now.” I remain silent so he keeps talking while I finish cleaning the table. “I'm probably overstepping and I don’t know everything that happened with you two, but at the very least, he deserves closure. A conversation.”
I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. “You don’t know everything that happened between us. What I did, what I’ve done, it’s unforgivable,” I admit to this man who is basically a stranger.
“Maybe. Maybe not. There’s only one way to find out though.”
He’s right: there is only one way to find out.
But will I survive it?
Chapter 5
Kai
Atexactly11:52,Ipull into the parking lot of the homey diner promising the tri-state area’s best waffles. I needed to get there and collect myself before she did, try and work out exactly what I’m going to say even though I have been agonizing over it into the early hours of the morning. I have so many questions for her that need answers. But I realize I don’t know this Kendall anymore, this version of her at all. There’s so much pain and distance separating us now that I’m starting to regret asking her to meet me here.
The Olympus Diner had an old school retro vibe, heightened by the weathered sticky jukebox tucked in the front corner, the metal tables, and large glass windows that spanned the entire front half of the restaurant. Kendall and I had come here for hundreds of dates, drunken late night food runs, and hungover brunches before, well before everything went to shit. This restaurant has been around far longer than we’ve been alive and is a staple in the surrounding community. I knew if I told her to meet me at the diner, I wouldn’t have to specify.
I sit down in a small booth near the window, the red worn leather squeaking underneath my weight. I shift uncomfortably not knowing what to do with my hands, so I run them through my hair—realizing I hadn’t even bothered to shower this morning. I was so preoccupied with the idea of seeing her and finally having her undivided attention, that basic hygiene hadn’t crossed my mind. I probably look disheveled and unhinged, which is exactly how I feel.
An older waitress, probably in her sixties with graying hair pulled up tight in a bun and a stained white apron around her waist, stops by the table to ask if I need anything. I order a black coffee even though I know I’m not going to drink it. Not yet anyways. I’ve already suffered two panic attacks since seeing her yesterday and the last thing I need is caffeine buzzing in my veins during one of the most intense conversations of my life.
I glance at my watch, 12:02. Maybe she isn’t even going to show up and all my panicking was for nothing. Maybe I already got my one shot and blew it yesterday when I cornered her at work.
And then like a fucking tidal wave, she comes crashing into the diner. She chats with the hostess briefly. I watch as she scans the restaurant for me, her hazel green eyes flicking from table to table, her dark curls bouncing around her face.
She’s painfully beautiful, even more stunning than the day she left, the last time I saw her.Reallysaw her. Because yesterday was a fluke, an anomaly. A happy accident depending on who you ask. It probably never should have happened and yet I find myself thanking whatever god that exists that it did. Yesterday I didn’t have the opportunity to appreciate her beauty because I was flustered and momentarily knocked off course. The mere sight of her had shaken me to my core. Today though, today I have the time to admire her and it nearly steals the breath from my lungs.