The drive to daycare is twelve minutes. Akio spends most of it talking about the pancake situation from earlier this morning.
"Grandma said one handful of blueberries but I did two."
"And?"
"She used the big voice."
"Yikes." I glance at him in the rearview. "What else?"
He thinks about it for two seconds. "Can we get a fish?"
"No."
"A small one."
"Still no."
He sighs deeply and stares out the window for the rest of the drive. I fix his backpack straps at drop-off, kiss his forehead, and he's already gone, running inside wearing his favorite Spiderman shoes.
I sit in the parking lot longer than I need to.
My phone buzzes.
How's your morning?
Kai. I smile before I can stop myself.
Just dropped Akio off. He wants a fish now.
Get the fish.
I'm not getting the fish.
I see the text bubble that tells me he’s typing pop up and then disappear a few times.
What if I kept it at my apartment?
Saves you the headache and he can still have the fish
You would do that?
You’re never home…
Of course I would and I have a housekeeper
Maybe
I laugh alone in my car and pull out into traffic.
Work keeps me busy most of the morning. I’ll take any distraction to stop me from thinking about how I’m going to break the news to my moms this evening. By mid-afternoon, I've rehearsed eleven versions of what I'm going to say and scrapped all of them. Kai texts once more around 2pm, a photo of a coffee cup, no caption, and I stare at it longer than I should before putting my phone face down.
The truth. Nothing else. Just the truth. That's all I've got.
***
We’rebackatmymoms’ house seated around the large oak kitchen table. Akio is sleeping in his room that’s been completely designed for him. I brought over a pizza and cannolis from their favorite restaurant, hoping it would put them in a good enough mood to soften the blow of my news.
My mom bites into a cannoli, powdered sugar exploding and falling on her plate. She grabs a napkin from the center of the table and starts to prod.