“Wow, that’s fucked up man,” he finally says.
“I know…” I trail off, realizing how stupid and juvenile it all sounds out loud.
“I get it. I’ll be the villain in your story if you need me to be, but I think we both know terrible shit happens to good people all the time, and there isn’t usually a reason or an explanation. That’s just life.”
“Yeah, what terrible things have happened in your life, golden boy?” I inquire, slightly ticked off, but starting to warm up to the idea of not hating him.
“Is that what you think?” he scoffs. “My life is great and everything is wrapped in a perfect fucking bow?”
“I guess,” I mumble, shrugging my shoulders.
“Well, after your accident, my mom was in rehab for two years and it almost destroyed my family,” he explains in a hushed tone.
“Fuck, Aiden. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Well, why would you? You stopped talking to me. I mean things are different now, better. She’s been sober for almost six years. But it doesn’t take away the feeling of always waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Another phone notification pulls me out of my memory but I make a mental note to check on him soon. Something about this text exchange feels off, maybe he’s got himself in too deep with gambling or maybe he owes someone money. Maybe I’m overthinking it. Aiden is a grown adult and he can take careof himself. But it doesn't change the unsettling feeling in my stomach or the cold dread slithering up my spine.
Chapter 24
Kendall
ThenightAkiowentto the emergency room was the last and only time Kai stayed over. But he’s been visiting twice a week for a while now, always bringing thoughtful elaborate gifts for Akio and flowers for me. Sometimes he’ll switch it up and bring me coffee exactly the way I like it, or groceries, which is his gentle way of telling me the fridge is too barren. But the important thing is that he’s here consistently, without fail for Akio, and a part of me hopes he’s here for me too. I’m not sure why I expected anything less. Kai has always been sturdy, dependable, solid. I'm the one who broke his heart and disappeared.
We sneak kisses and lingering hugs that I always wish would turn into more whenever Akio is out of sight. But we never let it go farther than that, even though I desperately want to. Slowly, days turn into weeks and weeks turn into a month and we find ourselves falling into a steady rhythm. It’s been easy acclimating ourselves to life with Kai, especially when Akio adores him. So, I know how painful it will be to try to revert back to life without him.
I quickly shake that thought from my head, my fingers hovering over my phone, trying to muster up enough courage to ask Kai out on an official date. I don’t know what I’m so scared of. This is the same Kai I used to trick or treat with, the Kai who took my virginity, the Kai whose house I used to have dinner at a million times growing up. The same Kai who came to Pride every year with me and my moms, that I dated for almost five years. But suddenly, I’m nervous, even though I know he won’t say no. I know it’ll be a resounding yes, but still, my palms are sweating and my pulse is pounding like a jackhammer. After going back and forth with myself for days about it, I send off a text to him before I can chicken out.
Hi
Hey
So I’ve been thinking would you want to go on a date this week?
More than anything
I’ve been meaning to ask you
my schedule has just been nonstop
that’s okay
I know sometimes it’s hard for you to make the first move
Kidding
No you’re not.
But you’re right, it is
So you finally admit it?
Admit what?
I made the original first move
Our first kiss