"I'll be back at 5 to pick him up," I say quietly.
I stop to kiss Akio on the top of his head on my way out. My body is moving faster than my brain, my feet shuffling backwards before I can change my mind. Kai hobbles behind the door and then closes it with a heavy thud.
His mom exits the elevator just as I’m about to step on.
“Kendall, it’s so good to see you!” I wait a moment before getting on and bend down to hug her tiny lithe frame.
“You too. I just dropped Akio off. He’s inside with Kai.”
“You sure you can’t stay for a little bit? I’d love to catch up with you.”
“I would too. I just don’t think it’s a good idea right now.”
She's silent for a moment, studying me. She takes my hand in hers and gives it a good squeeze. “Everything is going to be okay, you know, with you and Kai. You guys will figure it out. Just give it some time,” she says quietly. Anela and her infinite wisdom. At one time, I considered her a third mom.
“You think so?” I wanted to believe her. I so badly wanted her to be right.
“I know so. He misses you,” she insists. That, at least, I believed.
“I miss him too.”
“I know, love. Just keep showing up for him, okay?”
“I’ll try. I promise.”
Chapter 87
Kai
AfterKendallandAkioleave, it’s just my mom and me sitting at the long farmhouse style kitchen table together. The three of us had just polished off an entire pepperoni pizza. She’s staring at me with the kind of look only a mother can give. One that indicates she wants to say something, she’s just waiting for the opportunity.
“Whatever you are going to say, just say it,” I tell her.
“He’s amazing, Kai. So much like you and not at the same time,” she smiles. And he is. Akio is the best combination of both of us and yet entirely his own person.
“I know. It’s all Kendall. She’s been doing a great job with him,” I comment.
“So have you,” she observes. I haven’t though, not lately. And that guilt feels like cement blocks attached to my feet.
“But that isn’t what you wanted to talk to me about,” I hedge.
“No, it isn’t,” she admits. “What happened with you and Kendall?” she pries.
“I just thought we needed a little space. That I needed some time to work through some things.”
“And have you done that?” she asks, her eyebrows raised. “Worked through things?” She traces the top of her glass with her finger, patient and calculating.
“Well not exactly, but there’s been a lot going on,” I reply, slightly uncomfortable. I begin fidgeting awkwardly with the paper plate in front of me, ripping off little pieces and making a pile out of them.
“Mhm,” she murmurs. “So, are you stringing her along then?”
“What? No, of course not,” I huff, rolling a piece of uneaten crust in between my fingers.
“Do you still want to marry her?” my mom demands sharply.
“I’m not sure,” I mutter, irritated at the direction of this conversation.
Couldn’t everyone just leave me the hell alone and let me sulk in peace?