I’m up in the sky, away from the city, and my throat closes up the same way it used to do when I was a child. Doesn’t matter where I am or which man I’m with. The feeling of being boxed in never goes away. And that’s because I’ll never be their first choice. I’m convenient, and I always tell myself it’s enough.
I watch shadows pass below me from the car headlights.
I promised Lila and Mom I’d be back, but they’ll be the ones scooping my flesh off the sidewalk.
My heart aches in many different places.
“Anything interesting going on down there?” asks the man, peering down with me. “Or are you finally starting to accept your fate?”
My breathing is starting to even out as I slowly come to accept reality for what it is. One of us was bound to be dragged here. I’m glad I’m the one on the roof of this building, not Mom and Lila.
I turn around again, watching various muscles flex under Valerian’s shirt. He didn’t get those muscles from lifting weightsin the gym. This is what he does. He kills over and over again with no remorse. It’ll never be enough. He’ll never be able to kill enough people and have his fill.
Flesh rips. Blood squirts, flying through the air. I watch it happen in the third person, no longer conscious of the events happening around me.
And then Valerian lands straight on his back, wincing.
My pulse spikes again at the sudden thought of him being dead.
His chest is still rising and falling, no blood spilling from it yet. I watch him, my heart starting to pick up again as I sink into the reality of what all this means.
I should want him dead after everything he’s put me through. But excruciating pain cuts through my heart every time I think about him dying.
“Valerian!” I use what little energy I have left to scream his name at the very top of my lungs.
Valerian, still laid on the floor, turns his head. The lines around his brow soften, his eyes glistening in the dying light.
Time stops. It’s like I’m breaking into Igor’s apartment all over again. He’s there, watching me. One minute, I don’t know he exists, the next, he's the center of everything, existing in my life more than I am.
He keeps watching me sideways, laid on the floor, chest rising and falling as masked men move around him, going in for the kill.
He can’t die.
Thinking that is very irrational. But the logical side of my brain stopped working the second we crossed paths.
I’ve never been so certain of something in my life. I need him, and I need him alive so we can raise this child together and give it everything we both never had ourselves as kids.
He’s a good father. He protects his own son even if it comes at a cost to himself.
I breathe deeply, feeling the wind through my hair. Goosebumps appear on my skin, a chill passing through me. Being fired from my job was for the best. It opens up new opportunities, and I haven’t stopped thinking about what that photographer said about me starting my own line. Strangers believe in me.
Perhaps Valerian even does. The night after we got married, he questioned my life. And now, a week later, I’m questioning the same things myself.
He knows the answers before I even start asking the questions.
A harsh yelling sound grabs my attention. I snap around to the roof as one of the masked men drags Valerian, pinning him down on the ground, where he’s still watching me. More men join, each taking an arm and limb as Siguard himself steps forward with measured steps, gun at the ready.
“No!” I scream, still having energy left in the tank, it seems. My voice cords rip to sheds but it’s worth it to scream for something worth fighting for.
I look over at Igor, confusion creased across his brow. He’s slipping between worlds, struggling to face some very harsh truths, ones Siguard is encouraging him to accept so that he can use Igor against his own father.
“Igor!” I yell as Siguard steps closer to Valerian’s body. His chest is on display, vulnerable for attack.
Niko is too busy warding off the last two attackers.
“Igor!” I manage to rip Igor from his trance with this second scream, his gaze lifting.
“You won’t hate your dad forever. But youwillhate yourself forever if you choose to let him die.”