“Not in love exactly.”
“But you’ve had sex?” asks Mom.
Not a great conversation to be having with your mother. I cringe.
“What’s this man’s name?” asks Lila. “I think I’d like to punch him in the face.”
I think Lila will be wanting to do more than that.
I look at her pointedly. “His name is Valerian.”
Lila’s mouth gapes open. “As in, Valerian Sokolov?”
Mom swizzles around. “What? Lila, you know this man?”
“He owns a billionaire commercial real estate company,” she says to my mom. “Everyone in this city knows who is.” Lila’s mouth gapes wide open as she starts to make sense of this. “Now I see why you’re blushing. That man is one smoking hot piece of ass. Wilma—even you would agree.” Lila is still watching me. “Are you sure we’re talking about the same guy?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“And you never saw any signs with Igor before that he could be involved?”
“Nope. Looking back, the signs are obvious. He was ambiguous about a lot of things. But I didn’t see that. All I saw was how he presented himself. He was very attentive and loving.” I pause, feeling Mom reading me.
I look over to her and see her eyes soften. She understands.
But it’s not enough to excuse anything.
I lean into the kitchen countertop, shoving my hands in my wet sweatpants. “Things are complicated. Igor has some men. They're trying to get rid of Valerian and everything he’s built.”
Mom frowns. “Get rid of him, how?”
“Killing, Mom.” I bite my lip, giving her a look. “That’s what these people do.”
“Well, then, thank God you’re away from it all.” She steps in to give me a hug.
But I step aside. We can’t hug and make up yet. Because she won’t like what I’m about to say.
“I have to go back there,” I grimace. “If Igor and his men find out I’m here with you, they’ll bring you into this. You have to stay away. And I have to go back. It’s safer that way.”
“I don’t understand.” Lila frowns. “Why come back here in the first place?”
I sink into the countertop. “I just… had to get away for a while.”
Lila searches my eyes. “What did Valerian do, besides force you to marry him?”
That’s a very big fucking question. Whathasn’tthe guy done? He strangles victims with his bare hands and admires the bodiesafterwards. He’s basically been lying to an entire nation about who he really is. He doesn’t give a shit about commercial real estate. All he cares about is being at the top of the food chain. And he’ll do anything to stay there.
And yet, none of that bothers me half as much as him keeping secrets.
I comb a hand through my soaking wet hair. “Let’s just say he’s done a lot of terrible things.”
“You meanmurder?” I can hear Mom’s breathing getting shallower.
“I’m afraid so.”
“Then you’re out of your mind for wanting to go back there.”
“Valerian won’t kill me, Mom.”