Igor keeps ignoring me, yanking open the front door.
My heart is beating right out of my chest. This is how I get clarity, right? Seeing the man I love one last time?
Pain strikes my heart, like I’m being stabbed repeatedly in the chest. We tied the knot in the courtyard where I’m now about to bury him.
I look down at my hand, all five fingers trembling. I removed my ring ten months ago after walking away. On paper, we’re still married. I’m glad we kept it that way. It means our souls will forever be entwined. In life, in death, the promise will live on, even though we’ll never be together again.
I hold a breath like I’m diving underwater. The door creaks open, echoes bouncing between the walls as Igor steps into the lobby.
There it is. The casket. Mahogany, just like Valerian’s bedframe.
I swallow the boulder-sized lump in my throat, unsure how I feel about the lid being closed. Didn’t Igor say it was open?
I hold Hope close to my chest as the pain rips everything open. Reality turns everything on its head. The ceilings I spent a week living under all come crashing down, the walls full of memories I can’t get back. The air feels cold even though the temperature outside is warm. A balmy breeze blows into the lobby, perfumed with the smells of pollen and chlorine from the swimming pool.
It makes me nauseas. I can’t live another summer without him.
I stare at the casket… And that’s when the casket lid flies open.
My scream tears through the entire house. I step back, keeping Hope close to my chest, who is now crying.
We’re both crying, my heart beating so fast it hums as Valerianclimbsout of his casket, a smug smile stretching across his painstakingly handsome face.
My legs seize up. I take a deep breath, but it gets stuck somewhere before reaching my lungs, causing my head to spin.
I back into the wall, startled, blinking back tearsandmy imagination. None of this is real. Valerian is dead. Journalists wrote his eulogy in the paper, his face plastered across social media. His death is all this city is talking about.
“What…?”
I turn to Igor for clarity, who smiles.
And that’s when it clicks. This is really happening.
My breath is staggered, my chest heaving as I look back at Valerian, my vision watery.
“You know I’m always one for surprise entrances.”
The smile disappears from Valerian’s face when he glances at our daughter. Every feature on his face drops as he slowly makes his way over, extending his arms to bring the two of us into a hug.
Relief courses through my veins, killing every last ache and pain.
I should slap him in the face for putting me through hell. I haven’t showered for three days because of the pain. He was alive this entire time while I was tossing and turning at night, hating myself for walking away before.
How fucking dare he.
His presence drains all of my anger. None of it matters anymore. Relief flows through me as I sink into his touch, allowing his scent to wash over me and bring comfort to parts of my body that never fully rested after I walked away.
“I hate you so fucking much,” I sob into his chest. “You’re an asshole.”
“Call me every bad name under the sun,” says Valerian in his usual dark, husky tone.
His voice could pull me out of a coma.
I bite my lip, desire rushing south as I look up at him.
He steps back, tilting his head to one side as he lays his eyes on our daughter.
I flash him a look. “You’re lucky Hope’s here. None of the names I want to call you are appropriate for a newborn to hear.”