“Yeah. He’s done a lot of stuff in and around Los Angeles. I don’t really know what. It all goes over my head. Anyway,” Lila shoots off the couch. “We should get ready for Pilates. You know how the instructor gets when we show up late.”
A few extra lunges as punishment doesn’t sound as bad when I compare it to what Valerian has in store.
“Sure. I’ll be ready in a few minutes.”
I open the laptop when Lila disappears, scrolling through the website, narrowing my results down toIgor.He’s nowhere to be seen in any of this. Valerian owns the business. He’s the only one showing his face. I guess that’s because he wants a good reputation.
I continue mulling him over when I get to Pilates.
I’m finding it harder than normal to control my breath. My heart’s been hammering in my chest ever since this morning. And for two very different reasons.
“Pulse!” shouts the instructor.
I imagine myself in this position over Valerian, squatting on his cock. Working new muscles. If he’s as big down there as the rest of him, I’m screwed.
I focus on pushing him out of my mind with each rep. But he finds a way to edge back in. It’s those eyes. You see them once. You see them forever.
But there’s one thing more powerful than his eyes. His reputation. He’s Bratva royalty, which means he can do whatever he wants.
What if he’s deadly serious about the wedding? And the reason I think he’s bluffing is because I can’t conceptualize how someone would do that. You don’t force people into marriage. That’s not normal. Not where I come from.
“Joy?” Mom interrupts me from my thoughts when we’re wrapping up the class. “You’re quiet this evening. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “Just the breakup.”
Lila, two reformers down, shoots me a puzzled look.
“Oh, I know, honey. Come here.” Mom flings her arms around me, bringing me into a tight hug. “I couldn’t move for weeks when I divorced your father. The pain was too much. You’re already miles ahead of me.”
I know she couldn’t move. I was the one trying to move her. My father was a liar. And a cheater. The absolute scum of the earth. And for years, Mom let him walk all over her. She kept letting it happen until she could afford to divorce him.
“Let's get you some fried chicken.”
“After just working out butts off for fifty minutes?” interjects Lila. “No way. I have organic ice cream waiting for us back home in the freezer. We’re having a movie night.”
“I don’t want a?—”
“Tough. You’re eating ice cream and my homemade lasagna. It’s gonna be a blast.”
My stomach fills with nerves as we walk back from Pilates. I’m not sweating with exhaustion. But anxiety.
Could this be my last night of freedom before?—?
No. I kill that thought before it kills me. What happened earlier today was a fever dream. And I won’t let a man ruin a nice evening with my two favorite people.
5
JOY
I wakeup the next morning to a sudden bang on the door. I sit bolt-upright in bed, my pulse spiking.
Shit.
I tear away the covers, pausing as the knocking gets more aggressive.
Slowly, I crawl out of bed, tiptoeing through the apartment to look through the window.
The banging continues before I get a chance to peer out.