“You could just say you were imagining me doing this to your dick and I would have realized why ice cream was such a big deal to you,” I said with a snort and then another when he looked around. “There’s no one around, Big Boss.”
“Quit,” he said, and I laughed as he swatted at me and missed because, as usual, I was too fast when I didn’t want to get caught by him.
“Mmm, emphasis on the big,” I said with a grin and took another step back when he looked ready to get off the bench and come for me. “But I suppose the boss part comes through nicely too. Damn, could you imagine what the guys would think if they knew how much of a confused boner you get when you hear that nickname now?”
“That’s not fucking funny,” he snapped, shoving the sandwich into his mouth and taking an unnecessarily large bite.
“It’s funny because as much as it would be hilarious to see the horror on like…Mika, Reno, and Carter’s faces, I wouldn’t do that to you,” I admitted and then thought about it, wrinkling my nose. “Or myself. Trevor would probably find it funny, and God knows Jake would find it hilarious and turn it into a joke that would immediately get run into the ground so hard it would find the molten core.”
“You’re as big an idiot as they are,” he informed me around far too much food in his mouth.
“Better make sure you chew that,” I pointed out. “Otherwise, you’re going to choke on it.”
“Just let me die if that happens,” he muttered as he took another bite, one that I noticed was smaller than the last one.
“Look, I know you think you’re terrifying, and for every one of the guys that’s probably true. Probably because they don’t realize you’re easy to tame with a bit of lube and a willingness to go to town on their asses like a pissed-off jackhammer,” I said, making him choke slightly on his next bite. “But you don’t scare me. Now, if I were to let you die, though? Cait would come for me, and I’m scared of her.”
He stared at me, wide-eyed. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I looked around from my perch on the picnic table. It was one of three tables under a small pavilion at the edge of the town we had done our shopping in. There was no one around, not even a single child on the small playground. The closest person would be the two employees at the sandwich and ice cream shop nearby, but I would have needed to scream at the top of my lungs for them to understand me.
“Please, the only way anyone other than you is going to hear me is if you fuck me on this table,” I said, patting my hand on the surface and then pulling back with a grunt. Sighing, I plucked the small splinter of wood out of my skin and held it up before flicking it away. “Don’t fuck me on this table, please.”
“I’m not going to fuck you anywhere if you keep that up,” he said, but I could see my logic making its way into his dramatic ass head and his shoulders eased.
“Seriously though,” I told him after licking more ice cream. “I might be a shit sometimes, but I’m not as stupid as you make out. I’m not going to start yelling about how much I want you to fuck me for random people to hear. And no, that’s not because you’re still trying to figure out if you’re bi or just temporarily into me for the fun of it; I do have a sense of decorum. But it’s also because I don’t want to out you to anyone when you’re not even sure there’s anything to be out about.”
His scowl only deepened, and I bit back a sigh. He had loosened up in a lot of ways that were hard to describe, but he was still…well, Xander. There was only so much I could expect from him, after all. He was coming to terms with everything at his own pace, but I had to admit that sometimes there was an impatience in me that I was careful to keep contained. I just wished he wouldn’t be so worried about everything all the time; it wasn’t as if worrying prevented things from happening. Hell, if anything, worrying made it difficult to enjoy what was happening in the present.
That was Xander for you, though, and it wouldn’t do me a whole lot of good to change him.
“I don’t like that,” he said after a few minutes.
“I’m sorry,” I said with a weary sigh. “I was just being a jackass. I meant it though; I knew we were alone and?—”
“No,” he interrupted, and I glanced over to see him still frowning. “I don’t like that you think it’s a temporary thing.”
That took me by surprise, and I stopped licking my ice cream. “Huh?”
“I mean,” he added quickly, and it was one of those rare moments where he couldn’t even use his anger to conceal his real emotions, embarrassment. “I don’t know that it’s not, but I don’t like that you’re just assuming. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but if I were saying shit like that, you’d tell me not to jump to conclusions and just enjoy what I have.”
I stared at him before letting out a laugh, nodding. “And then you surprise me by calling me out…and you’re absolutely right. What’s the phrase? Putting the cart before the horse? Counting chickens before they pop their heads out? Huh, humans have a lot of phrases for stuff, don’t they?”
He stared at me. “You’re an idiot.”
“And you love to say that.”
“You apparently love hearing it.”
“You know, you’d think I’d grow tired of it, but the more I hear it, the more I hear ‘I’m actually quite fond of you and perhaps even like you’,” I told him. It was tempting to point out that it was also occasionally dangerously close to ‘I love you’ but…well, even for me that was going too far. He was still far too uncertain of his feelings for me to play with words like ‘love.’ Hell, I wasn’t even certain I could bring myself to think in that way either.
“That’s because you need to get your hearing checked,” he said with a shake of his head. “And your head.”
I eyed him, and when he groaned at my smirk, I said, “I hear my head is quite good. I mean, you’ve never said it outright, but you make these funny little noises when I get you all the way down my throat and do that thing…you know.”
“I do,” he said, and then scowled. “Quit.”
“Why? Because now you’re thinking about it?”