“When…was this?” I wondered.
His nostrils flared. “It would be…seven years, this September.”
Seven years and the memory still made him look like he wanted to put his fist through a wall. Yeah, yeah, okay, he was a bit of a sentimental bastard.
“And,” he continued, fingers flexing, “if I didn’t think you were trustworthy, I wouldn’t have let it go when you lied to my face last night. Anddon’tsay you didn’t. I’m accepting your version of events, but I’m not going to pretend you weren’t leaving parts out and lying about others. If I didn’t trust you, I would have got the whole story and put your and Carter’s asses on probation.”
Okay, he was trying to be reasonable, so I bit back the comment that itched to drop from my lips. “Okay.”
His expression didn’t tell me if he was waiting with bated breath for me to make some comment or come up with the words to say whatever he’d come to say. Whatever the case, it took him a moment before he grunted. “Right. And I spoke to Reno.”
“I’m not even going to say what we both know I’m thinking at the moment,” I told him with a smirk.
“Good,” he said with a scowl. “And…I was right to trust you, I think. It was a little messy, how you handled shit, but I can’t think of one time any of us handled shit around here smoothly. Especially me. Leading people is a pain in the ass and you’re never going to get it completely right, but you…you handled that shit.”
Of all the things I thought he was going to say, a genuine compliment, awkward and a little off course but still a compliment, was not what I was expecting. “I…wasn’t trying to lead anyone. That’s uh, your title.”
“Yeah well, someone around here needs to step up and take charge of shit when I’m not around to make the calls, and Cait shouldn’t have to do it even though she’s got more experience than all of you,” he said with a shrug. “The guys work well together, they figure shit out most of the time, and that’s how I want it. I don’t want to hold everyone’s hands when they need to tie their shoes. It’s why I wanted you to go without me the first time, to see if you could mesh with it. And from what Jake told me, you did just fine. And now your second call out, where I should have been there but?—”
“Couldn’t,” I supplied, because there was no way in hell I was going to touch his divorce right then. If there was anything that seemed to strike all the nerves, it was my smart mouth in second place, and his divorce at an astronomically high first place.
“Right,” he said, and I smiled at the relief in his voice. “And you saw the situation needed to be taken in hand. No committee work, no group vote; something needed to be done. And for the record, you made the right call. That second girl, she was?—”
“Gone,” I said with a familiar heaviness in my chest. “How much hell are we going to catch for the damage her body took?”
At that, he smirked. “You let the suit-wearers worry about that.”
“Uh-huh, till they come to your doorstep asking why it happened the way it did.”
For the first time, I felt uneasy at the malice in his face, especially because it was accompanied by a twisted little smile. “Do you know how much fun I have watching those little fuckers come to me, chests puffed out, pretending like they know their heads from their asses? And being able to shove their heads back up their asses where it's normally lodged because they don’t know the first fucking thing about being in a position like you were last night?”
“You know, I wondered about your leadership,” I said slowly, chuckling. “You’re so…distant, kind of cold, definitely a dick but…now I have a better picture. You keep everyone contained, but you’re not trying to nail them down, letting us do our thing the best way we can. And if the shit hits the fan, you’re right there with a racket to smack it back at the flingers.”
“You fuck up? I won’t keep your ass out of the fryer, but you can bet that ass of yours that if the right thing was done, I’m not throwing any of my own under the bus.”
“I dunno,” I said slowly, because I couldn’t help myself. “Not a bet I’d take easily. It’s a big one.”
“What?” he asked, eyes narrowing suspiciously.
“You said to bet my ass, but that’s a lot to bet,” I said, smirking.
He stared at me for a moment before sighing. “I guess it is.”
Xander looked as surprised as I felt, and I realized it had slipped out without him realizing he’d been thinking it. “Oh, really now?”
“Do not,” he said, jabbing a finger at me.
“Hey, I’m not going to tell you what you should or shouldn’t be thinking about,” I said. “Even if it is my ass.”
“I’m not…” he began and then huffed. “Last night was?—”
I grimaced. “Hell, if you’re going to ruin everything you just said by telling me last night was a mistake that shouldn’t be repeated, just…don’t. Actually, if that’s the case, just change the subject and I’ll take the hint. I don’t think I can take a high like a rare compliment from you only to be smacked down with rejection, Big Boss.”
His eyes widened. “Jesus, Colin, could you not?”
I stared at him for a moment until I realized what I’d said and let out a laugh. “I’m so sorry. Genuinely. Carter just got done calling you that and it was just…it came out, totally didn’t mean?—”
I looked at him a moment longer and then smirked when I saw him practically squirming, or at least trying not to. “Oh…I see.”