I knew I shouldn’t just leisurely sit in the bathtub while I had many things to do today, but it was the only thing that
calmed my nerves as I still shook. I needed to wash off the impurity I felt deep within. The worry hit me that most lords wanted
their wives to have only laid with them. After what happened to me, I would be considered impure and undesirable to most of
them.
That choice had been taken from me.
I was still unsure if I should tell anyone. Mostly because I was terrified of being deemed insane. I already lived with the
faeries, Mother said. Although a Fae myself, the faeries were the lower folk. The creatures who were neither human nor Fae,
living deep in the forests.
They hid within the trees. In the blades of grass and in the flowers. They were hell bent on swapping their babies for ours,
all while promising wishes but holding grudges if they didn’t get what they wanted. Truly, those faeries were the scary versions
of ourselves.
“Well, your highness, if you wish to do all that, I must prepare you for the day. You cannot go without breakfast.”
Kathlyn stood behind the room divider and threw over the thick towel ready for me to take. Since I turned eleven, I had
refused for any of my lady’s maids to help me bathe. This being the only time I got to myself in the castle, and it gave me some
degree of control.
“Which dress would you like to wear today? I have the pale blue one ready,” she said casually.
“Actually, find me one of my lighter fabric dresses. The lilac one and I will keep my hair down for the day with no bonnet.”
“No bonnet! Hair down?! Your highness, won’t that seem too informal? What will the queen say if she sees you?”
Rinsing off the lavender and rose oil from my long ember hair, I stood from the bath and wrapped the towel around myself.
Emerging from behind the divider, I found Kathlyn with her hands on her hips and panic on her face.
“My mother won’t be seeing me today. She is busy with wedding things. Also, I will also not be having breakfast. I am
meeting Lady Gelda for lunch. I will be fine with a cup of tea and a few biscuits until then.”
I swear I saw the vein on her forehead grow in size as she worried more. She liked to do things the correct way, but I was
fed up with taking orders or being told what I should and shouldn’t do. It no longer mattered. I wasn’t desirable anymore to any
male. Any marriage I were to have now, would be out of principle and protection, not for love or the art of making babies.
The un-pure princess is what I would be called once they found out. All ladies went through extensive examinations when a
man chose them to become their wife and I, even as a princess, was no exception.
There was a flash of red and my heart began to beat faster. I felt a little dizzy and stumbled a little as I stepped into my
undergarments. Kathlyn quickly put her hand out to touch my elbow and balance me.
“Are you alright?” Concern laced through her voice as she looked at me, studying me.