“Embrace all you wish. After tomorrow, I will be yours completely to do with as you please. Just so long as in exchange, I
am allowed to devour you, claim you and make youmine.” His last word came out more a growl than speech.
I now knew things about Nicholas that I never thought possible. Back when we were children, I would run away from him,
like a mouse from a cat. He made me feel things even back then, things I never fully understood. Now being wrapped up in his
arms, I could feel more intense feelings bubbling away under my skin. Under his gaze and touch. He made me feel beautiful,
wanted and desired. But most importantly—needed.
I wanted to be his back then, I wanted to run away with the kind stable boy that would bring me sweet pastries hidden in a
cloth. The boy who made lilac flowers appear out of his open hand. The one who helped keep the nightmares away.
“Now, shall we eat something before we head to bed, or would you like to stay in here for a while longer?”
He caressed my cheek with one hand as his other lightly tapped at the skin between my thigh and hip bone, sending shivers
through me. What was stopping me from letting him do the things we so desperately wanted to do? Maybe it was that he would
pull away from me one minute and then the next be sprouting sonnets at my bedroom window.
Fear.
That was it. I was fearful he’d use me today and then discard me the next. Surely I couldn’t live like this for the rest of my
life? If one wants adventure, they must first take that leap forward into the unknown. At this moment, my leap was Nicholas and
to give all of myself to him.
“What’s going on behind those eyes?” He asked, his face looking concerned as he continued to caress my cheek.
Nic could have instantly wandered through the plains of my mind to figure out everything, but instead he asked. He
respected me enough to ask and wait for me to answer on my own. It made my mind calm slightly.
“I am worried. If I give myself to you—completely—what if you tire of me or become bored? Will you throw me away?”
“No, silly. I will lock you in a house where you won’t bother me,” he jested. A sudden rage filled my stomach, until he
laughed and cupped my face with both his hands.
Nic gave me a serious look and insisted,“I will never tire of you or become bored. Even when we are old and grey.”
“But we hardly know the people we are now. You said it yourself, we were just children back then.”
I was backtracking, I could feel myself begin to pull away emotionally. Scared and worried he would eventually find me a
burden—just as everyone else in my life has done.
“Ornella, if this is about sharing a bed together and everything else in between, please do not worry. I will not do anything
to you unless you ask me to. I cannot think of the things you went through with your”—he stopped the moment my eyes began to
fill with tears—“I will not say their name. But please understand, I am patient enough to wait. I may have stupidly tricked you
into marrying me. From time to time I may act like a brute, most certainly in front of my court as I must give them the idea of