“I’ll drink it.”
“You look like shit,” he replies to my disrespect, holding it closer to my body so I can take the glass.
I almost dump it all over myself due to the strength failing in my hand, and I sit up higher to drink it. Elio stares at my tits likethe predator he is, while I ignore him to choke down the noxious smoothie.
I don’t know what it is, but it wasn’t made by someone on our kitchen staff. The fruit is still chunky instead of blended until smooth, and I shudder as it takes me forever to finish it. God, this shit is also sour as fuck, and no additional sugar was added.
I’d bet they chose the most tart fruits for this. It’s another test and punishment for daring to exist. My father screamed obscenities at me while I was beaten which all revolved around how disgusting I was for loving my stepsister.
I hate that everyone in this house thinks they can touch and abuse me, because they’re following their don’s lead.
“Done.” I cough as I speak to him, and Elio rolls his eyes as he snatches up the glass.
“I’ve seen the bush you have growing,” he sneers, picking up a razor and tossing it into the water. The stupid man doesn’t realize he just handed me a weapon.
What’s one more cut on my ruined skin? Who would even care?
“Are you suggesting I shave?” I choke out. Fuck, that shit really was nasty.
“A full body shave for your betrothed wouldn’t be a bad idea,” he shrugs. “I’ll have the boys leave you alone.”
I stare blankly as he leaves, before fishing the razor from the bottom of the tub. My vision gets hazy as I hold it, and I glance back up to find I’m completely alone, not one in the bathroom, but there’s no one in my bedroom either.
One swift bang of the razor on the side of the porcelain edge is all it takes for me to be able to break the blade free of the razor. Rational thoughts race through my mind, telling me all the reasons why this is a bad idea.
For one, a knife would be so much faster, but I’m alone now. This rarely happens, between the men who watch me frommy bedroom door, or the various cameras my father has in the house.
There’s also nothing to say there aren’t people remaining in the hallway. Privacy is a construct I don’t deserve anymore, as I’m an animal who does as she’s told. My value is only as high as my ability to perform for my father.
Just do it, Rosa.One swift cut on both wrists is all I’ll need. Placing the empty razor handle on the table beside me, I reach for the blade. My teeth split my not-yet healed bottom lip as I sink them into it, and the taste of copper fills my mouth.
You’ve had worse pain than this.
Verona’s beautiful heart shaped face fills my mind, and tears threaten to obstruct my vision. Maybe one day, we’ll get to be together again. This house isn’t safe for her, and it never will be again.
My father and his men are on a rampage to destroy my body and spirit, and they don’t seem to care if I deserve it or not. Their misdeeds are drawn on my body, inside and out, like a bruised canvas.
Honestly, it’s been years of quietly crushing me, but as I catch a glimpse of my reflection accidentally, I have to admit I don’t have what it takes to keep going. My father could give me to his men again at any point to hurt me in the most despicable ways, and there’s nothing to stop him.
Nico doesn’t understand how awful things are, and he also doesn’t know me well enough to even think about helping. Everything he does seems to piss my father off. I keep the phone with me as a reminder that no one will save me.
…Which means there’s no one to stop me from ending it all either. At least, not while I’m alone.
“I’m sorry,” I mouth, lifting the blade to the underside of my wrist.
One sharp, deep, cut…Do it, Rosa.
DO IT!
My inner scream makes me flinch, and I begin to drag the blade across the outside of my skin, lightly at first to test it. Hmm. The beading of blood is slow and mesmerizes me as I stare at it.
My phone begins to vibrate and ring incessantly and I breathe in deeply to settle my nerves. The pain somehow feels good, and my lashes flutter against my bruised cheeks.
Fuck, why does this feel so good?
“Answer it, Rosa!” One of the men in the hallway yells. “Elio said to leave you alone to bathe, but your father said Nico is blowing his phone up.”
Ha! He acts as if I’ve been ignoring him for my own health. That’s funny.