The problem is I can’t shake the nagging intuition that something bad is going to happen. And the happier Heath and I are, the more I brace myself for the other shoe to drop. Every sweet gesture or extra time he spends with me instead of on the ranch makes me half-expect him to wake up and regret choosing me.
It would have almost been easier if we’d put an expiration date on our arrangement. At least then I’d have a definitive end to prepare for.
I’m aware it’s not rational. Not when he worships the ground I walk on. Especially last night when he fucked me against the mirror while reminding me how beautiful I am, even though my body continues to change.
I wait for him upstairs in the living room with a bowl of pickles dipped in cottage cheese—my current pregnancy craving, I can’t go a day without.
Within a few minutes, I hear Heath climbing the stairs. When he steps inside, he hangs up his hat before joining me in front of the couch.
“Bold move sitting on the floor, hellcat.” He smiles tentatively.
“Good luck getting me up once we’re done,” I quip, patting my bump.
He scoots close enough to drape an arm around my shoulders and kisses my temple.
“Missed you,” he says.
“Missed you too,” I reply softly.
It’s a little unsettling how dependent I’ve become on him. He cooks all our meals, does the laundry, and there’s an ache in my chest when he’s gone. It’s another reason I feel guilty whenever he leaves the ranch early to be with me. He’s swamped with work and still hasn’t hired a foreman yet, but the second I need him, he drops everything to be here.
He takes my bowl and sets it aside, so he has my full attention.
“Want me to explain why I paid your overdue bills, or do you have questions first?” Heath asks, cutting straight to the chase.
“It’s too much. The credit card alone was over forty-five thous—”
“What’s mine is yours,” he interjects, his calloused hands cupping my face. “Taking care of my girls is a privilege, and nothing I do could ever be too much. Not when you both deserve the world.”
I shoot him a playful smirk. “Better not tell our daughter or she’ll try to sweet-talk you into spoiling her rotten.”
“Good. I’m hoping she’ll learn a thing or two from her mama,” he says with a wink.
I shift closer as I cautiously meet his eyes. “How did you find out about the debt?”
“You left some bills out by the shop register, and I saw them,” he explains sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “It was the day after you told me you were pregnant.”
I settle back against the couch, his arm still wrapped around my shoulders. “Is that why you pushed so hard for us to getmarried?” I speak slowly, keeping my tone even. “Because you didn’t think I could take care of our baby alone?”
Heath shakes his head. “Absolutely not. I proposed before I knew about your financial situation, remember?”
“Yeah. Out of obligation,” I mutter to myself.
He recoils, stunned as if I’d slapped him. “That’s still what you believe?”
I shrug. “It’s the truth.”
He opens his mouth to respond but thinks better of it and closes it.
I’m not sure why he gets so cagey when I bring up his first proposal. I told him I was pregnant, and he immediately dropped to one knee, even though we had actively been avoiding each other. Without the baby, we’d never have hooked up again and would still be trading barbs whenever our paths crossed. Those are facts, no matter how much he wants to pretend otherwise.
“I didn’t tell you about the past-due payments because I wanted to prove I could handle at least some of it on my own.” I rest my head against his chest, tilting my face to look at him. “It was embarrassing enough that you were covering so many of my expenses, including my health insurance.”
“You’re my wife,” he says, caressing my cheek. “I never want you to have to struggle again. Not when I’m here to help.”
I blow out a shaky breath. “It’s difficult relying on someone when I’m used to doing it all on my own. Grams started slowing down a decade ago, and I was running the shop right out of high school to lighten her load. When she moved to Meadowbrook, I promised I’d support her no matter what it took, even if it meant getting behind on my own bills. She’s done so much for me, and I wanted to repay her.”
“She’s lucky to have you, but you’re not alone anymore,” he says reverently. “You’re my person, Charlie. After a long day atthe ranch, I can’t wait to come home to your quick wit and sharp tongue. Life with you is never boring. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, and it sure as hell isn’t out of obligation.” He takes my hand and rests it over his heart. “Taking care of you makes me the happiest man alive.”