I set my cup down and turn to face him.
“I know we aren’t a traditional marriage, but when it involves me, I would really love it if you didn’t just make decisions for me. I know you were close with him, but you aren’t my father, and no matter how much you beg, I will never call you Daddy.”
He rolls his eyes. “Of course I just did it. If I didn’t, you wouldn’t have shown up. I also would never ask you to call me Daddy. That is weird on so many levels, especially considering my relationship with your father.”
“Do you even realize what you’ve done? You can only have one old lady ever, Ridge. E-V-E-R,” I say slowly.
“You don’t think I don’t know that? Do you honestly think I didn’t contemplate this? I didn’t do this blindly, Rain. I know exactly why I did this. I know the consequences. I am okay with them.”
I shake my head, the hurt settling in. “You did it out of a sense of obligation to my dad. You know that. I know that. Everyone knows that. Now, when this marriage ends, and you find someone you really love, you will never be able to claim them. You took that away from them, and they will resent me for it. They will probably resent you too.”
“I know, Rain. I fucking know. I thought about it constantly for days. Where I might be in the future. Who I might meet. What I want my life to look like in fifty years. I played it over and over in my mind, and I kept coming up with the same fucking thing. If I could only have one old lady, I’m glad it’s you. Even if you hate me for it.”
“W-what?” I rasp as shock fills me.
“If I can only have one old lady in my life, I’m glad it’s you,” he says slowly.
I feel my mouth drop open.
No. He can’t mean that. Why would he want me as his old lady? He never even liked me.
This has to be a mistake.
Doesn’t it?
Ridge
Rain sits across from me, eyes wide, mouth slightly parted. Completely stunned, and as fucked up as it is, I’m glad I finally knocked her off her feet. I’m glad I’ve shaken her to her core.Maybe now she will realize that while this might have started as a favor to her father, it is not all about that anymore.
I want to get to know her. I want to see if we can make a real go of this. If she would stop throwing jabs my way and open herself up, we might be able to form a friendship. Maybe even more.
I meant what I said to her, though. I’m glad it’s her. I think subconsciously I always wanted it to be her. Why else would I be so chill about this?
“I-I don’t understand. You don’t even like me,” she says quietly as she shakes her head.
“Rain…” I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose.
For a second, I weigh my options. I could sugarcoat it for her, or I could tell her the truth. I could say something to smooth this whole thing over, or I can be honest and tell her what I want, where I see this going.
Fuck it.
“If you think I don’t like you, we need to get your eyes and ears checked.”
Her mouth falls open again, but I continue before she can say anything.
“I’ve liked you for far longer than I care to admit.” I think back to the first time I really saw her. “Your dad knew. I think that is why he went down this path. We haven’t always gotten along, but I never once hated you. To be honest, I kind of thought that was our thing.”
“But…”
I push on. “You’re gorgeous. You make me smile, and you keep me on my toes. You don’t let me get away with my bullshit, even if sometimes I wish you would. I genuinely like being around you, even if you don’t feel the same way. You have my complete attention every time you walk into a room, and I think that if we really gave this a chance, if we laid down our weapons,we could make each other happy. We could be friends, or maybe we could even fall in love.”
“You want to fall in love? Withme?” she asks slowly.
“Yes,” I tell her bluntly. “I would.”
“But, Ridge, you know this is a lie, right? That we are only playing house because we have to. I think you are confusing what we have to do with what is real.”
That’s the crux of it all, isn’t it? I agreed to this so quickly because I knew I couldn’t find a better woman in the world. Not for me. It being a favor to her father was only a bonus, not the reason.