Still, he takes the seat next to me and sits patiently while I collect my thoughts.
After a minute, I turn to him. “You would really marry me?”
“I would,” he says without hesitation.
“Why? I need honesty here. No jokes. No jabs. I need to know why.” I can hear the desperation in my voice.
“I’ll never lie to you, Rain. Even if you hate it,” he mutters.
“Yet you did. Maybe not to my face, but by keeping things from me. That is a lie by omission.”
He nods. “Full transparency then. Mustang did ask me if I would marry you prior to his death. You might not want to hear it, but he wanted you to be cared for. He knew that you had no family left once he was gone. No one but the club. He also knew that you would leave the club because you do not like feeling like a charity case. So he asked me to marry you and care for you. Keep you here until you could see that these people care about you, not because you are a charity case, but because they are your family.”
My eyes grow hot with tears, but I blink rapidly until they fade. That does sound like something my dad would do. He knew me so well.
“That doesn’t explain why you agreed.”
He sighs. “Marrying you isn’t a hardship, Rain. You are beautiful, smart, kind. Sassy as fuck too, but I don’t mind that. Why wouldn’t I want to marry you?”
“Maybe because we don’t like each other. We can barely stand to be near one another without arguing. What kind of marriage would that be?” I ask.
“We don’t have to like each other to be married. We aren’t doing this for the long-term connection we will make. I know you don’t plan to grow old and sit on rocking chairs on the front porch with me. It’s two years. Three with the one-year separation. That is nothing in the grand scheme of things.”
I hate that I am considering this. That my plans are slowly changing in my head.
Two years is nothing after all.
“You are thirty-three. You will be missing out on your prime years. That doesn’t bother you?” I ask.
“You are twenty-four. Does it bother you?”
I would never admit it to him, but it doesn’t bother me. I don’t date much as it is. Too many weirdos and serial killers out there. Sure, I have dated around before. I’m no virgin, but I never met anyone I wanted to actually date.
“If we do this, I wouldn’t expect you to remain faithful. We would be married on paper only,” I tell him.
“I will remain faithful to you because I take my vows seriously.” He sounds irritated that I would even make the offer.
Still, I try again.
“I won’t be sleeping with you, and I know a man has needs. All I am saying is that if you wanted to fulfill those needs, I would not hold it against you.”
He growls at me, “I am not an animal. I can control my urges. There are other ways to seek release that do not involve me cheating on my wife. I will remain faithful to you.”
My hackles raise. “Oh, so you expect me to remain faithful to you.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Go ahead, Rain. Marry me. Be my wife, then seek another. I won’t stop you, but don’t be surprised if he ends up missing.”
I shake my head at him. “You are barbaric. Why would you even care?”
He reaches out, grabbing my hand with his. I attempt to pull away, but he holds it tighter.
“If you agree to be mine, then you will be mine. I will be yours. Even in a farce of a marriage, we will belong to one another, and I don’t share, Rain. Ever. With anyone.”
His words send a shiver down my spine. Oh, to have that kind of devotion from a man and him actually mean it. Ridge isn’t saying those words because it is me. He is saying it because, as his wife, he wouldn’t want people knowing we were sleeping around with other people. It’s about honor for him.
It’s a moot point. Not one worth arguing. I’m not seeing anyone and don’t plan to. I can hold off for two years. Besides, the only orgasms I’ve ever had were by my own hand anyway.
“Understood. We should probably put some rules in place then,” I tell him.