‘Thanks.’ Anna gave her a quick, fierce hug just as the doorbell rang. ‘See you later,’ she called over her shoulder, shouting to make herself heard over the click-clacking of her heels on the hardwood floor.
Annoyed with herself for not remembering she’d have to cook tonight, Rachel opened the fridge and began assessing her dinner options. They could best be described as limited.
In the end Rachel decided to go for a run on the well-lit roads of Stroud Green, then immediately offset the calories she’d burned with a takeaway. She had a halloumi and falafel feast Deliveroo’d to the flat and ate it flopped on the sofa, watching a comfortingly awful straight-to-Netflix film as she sipped her still lemonade. It was tart but just the right side of bitter, with fresh mint leaves swirling on its surface.
Sometime later she heard the scrape of a key in the flat door and heaved herself up into a sitting position. She realised she’d nodded off on the sofa, and the left side of her neck was tight and stiff. She kneaded it vigorously as she tried to acclimatise to being awake again.
Rachel looked at the clock on the stereo. 10.56 p.m. This was an early finish for a special dinner date, even by Anna’s school-night standards.Eek …She hoped nothing weird had happened.
Anna wandered into the sitting room and eyed what was left of Rachel’s meal, still in an array of foil containers on the coffee table. ‘Dude, you really need to learn how to cook.’
Rachel wrinkled her nose and shrugged. ‘I forgot you were out tonight, so it was takeaway or a trip to Tesco. You’re home early, though. Did you have a good night? Where did you go?’
‘Le Gavroche,’ Anna said, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks glowing so red they clashed with her dress. ‘I’ve never been anywhere so posh. It wasamazing… I’m totally stuffed, though. Every time I thought I couldn’t manage another bite, the waiter reappeared with something else smothered in cream.’
She sank down onto the couch cushion next to Rachel’s, patting her stomach through the bright-pink corset that constricted it.
‘Wow,’ Rachel said, impressed. ‘Definitely not your standard pub scran, then. Will must have been planning this for months – I think it’s really hard to get a table there.’
Anna nodded, her face still scarlet. Her eyes were blazing and liquid; she had the sort of look people get on thrill rides at theme parks, or (Rachel assumed) when they’re about to launch into a bungee jump or skydive. It was an expression that bridged the gap between excitement and fear. Rachel also noticed that Anna was squeezing her left hand with her right, her knuckles turning white under the pressure.
‘Anna … is something wrong?’
‘No, no, no, nothing’swrong,’ she said, oddly shrill. She looked down at her hands. ‘Everything’s fine. Wonderful, even. But there is something I need to tell you. Something important.’
‘Okaaaaay?’
Rachel stretched out the second syllable of the word, intending for it to sound playful and puzzled – trying to undercut Anna’s deep-and-meaningful tone. Even as she heard herself say it, something inside her sank. Anna was serious; something important had happened, and no amount of arsing around could make light of it.
Add it up, Rachel told herself.You don’t need a PhD in maths to work this out.
Anna and Will had been together for longer than Rachel could imagine being with anyone. They adored one another, utterly and unambiguously. And he’d taken her to a Michelin-starred restaurant for their anniversary …
‘You guys have decided to move in together,’ Rachel said. It wasn’t a question. She didn’t need to ask.
Inside her own head, Rachel’s voice sounded flat and colourless. She was going to have to do better than this. She couldn’t make Anna feel bad for moving on with her life, regardless of what that meant for her personally.
Anna made a face that Rachel couldn’t read. She rubbed her temples, and as she lifted her left arm Rachel caught a flash of something shiny and substantial. Something adorning her left hand.
‘Oh my God …’ Rachel said. ‘Willproposed? He’s asked you tomarry him?!’
She prayed that Anna would mistake her shock for excitement.
‘He did! I just can’t believe it … It was a total surprise. Honestly … I didn’t know he had it in him!’
Anna was doing her best not to gush, and failing – though Rachel didn’t blame her. She caught her best friend’s fingers and stilled her animated gesturing so she could study the ring up close. It was lovely: a large, clear diamond cut in a square and set on a fine band that Rachel guessed was probably platinum. It was solid and unfussy – elegant and beautiful, but somehow strong in its simplicity. Perfectly, unmistakably Anna.
Rachel’s eyes were full of tears that she knew wouldn’t be contained, and as they began to fall she smiled and laughed. It was important that they seem like tears of unqualified joy, rather than the happy/sad cocktail she was actually feeling.
‘It’s gorgeous,’ Rachel said, gently bending Anna’s fingers so her engagement ring sparkled in the dim light of the sitting room’s Liberty-print standard lamp. She pulled her into a tight hug, resting her tear-streaked face on Anna’s shoulder. ‘I’m totally thrilled for you both.’
This was true, but Rachel also felt like she was falling – as though she’d stepped off a cliff edge and was loose in the air, flailing out of control and hurtling towards the ground. At some point, she knew, she’d crash into it.
‘You’ll be my maid of honour?’ Anna asked, pulling away to look Rachel in the eye. ‘I promise I won’t make you wear anything awful or force you to help make papier mâché place settings.’
‘Of course I will. And of course you won’t.’ Rachel smiled, gripping the edge of the sofa and, inside her pyjamas, clenching her stomach muscles to try to halt the churning of her falafel-filled belly. ‘Now … Shall we celebrate your big news with a cup of tea and a biscuit before bed?’
‘Yes, please,’ Anna said, ‘but hold the Hobnobs … After tonight I may never eat again.’