“It’s not your fault.” Joker leans into my touch, rather than away. “I want to tell you. It’s just that I’ve never spoken about this. I never wanted to again. I tend to put the bad shit in a compartment labeleddo not openin my mind, you know? If Idon’t speak about this, however, then it’s like our Rogue Powers. It’ll burst out when I don’t want it to one day.”
What has caused this intense reaction?
I force myself to give Joker space by leaning on the wall next to him.
His shoulders relax, and he takes steadying breaths.
He glances down, staring blankly into the air, rather than at me.
He appears to find this easier, as he explains, “I didn’t know that I was also a Rogue Switch like my sister, until I was on a mission, deep into enemy country. I was alone with Phantom and the Krakens. The Krakens are Viper and Reaper, bonded Alphas. Then suddenly, this change came over me. My scent changed, and my uniform became soaked in slick. I was being pinned down by enemy fire, trapped in a tiny farmhouse with a four-person unit, half of whom had made my life hell with bullying for years, and I was panicking the fuck out because I had just turned into an Omega.”
“Fuck,” I breathe.
I was born as a Rogue.
Tough as it was to live with that stigma, I never had to deal with the trauma of going through an unexpected change.
I definitely didn’t need to experience it in the middle of a battle.
“Yeah, fuck.” Joker’s expression darkens. Dread curdles my stomach. “As Alphas, the Krakens were my superior officers like Phantom was. I was the lowest officer in the platoon, although I was the best shot and that granted me a place on the trickiest missions. I was never promoted, however, and I had to suck up being the punching bag. Yet the Krakens were different. They kicked me around, but they were also obsessive about it. Worse, on a number of nights, I had to fend off their advances. They were insistent that they were going to claim me as their packbonded Beta, although I always made it clear that the answer washell no.”
“They’re dead.” My voice is flat and hard.
“Then I transform into a honey smelling Omega, when the Alphaholes were already hyped up on the bloodlust of a mission.” Finally, Joker turns to me. His eyes are suffused with pain. “I didn’t know how to control my Rogue Power. It triggered their ruts and my heat. Only Phantom was able to resist it. I was terrified.Vulnerable.The Krakens savagely tried to bite and claim me. I was lost in a fog of my new pheromones, fevered in my heat. Phantom fought the Krakens off to save me. Except, there was an explosion.”
“His scars.”
Joker’s eyelashes glitter with tears. “My skipper truly did burn for me. He still managed to carry me out of that burning farmhouse, before fighting his way free of enemy territory to safety. Yet we hadn’t completed the mission, and I was now outed as a Rogue. We both knew because of my sis what that meant…what was going to happen to me. So, we went AWOL. We ran and we’ve never stopped running. But as much pain as Phantom was in with his burns, he prioritized me over his medical needs. He saw me through that first, agonizing heat, saving my lifeagain. Then he bit and bonded me because it was the only way to get my powers under control. I’ve always had this little voice, however, in the back of my mind:Did he truly want me?What if Bird is the type of Omega who Phantom would have chosen, rather than a rough solider like me? Not a Rogue?”
CHAPTER TWENTY
Winthrop Mansion, Blue Valley Woods
Bird laughs, gripping tightly onto my arm, as we tumble down the snowy bank toward the silent mansion.
Gray clouds stream across the moon above, shielding us in shadows.
I shiver.
Bird and I are swaddled in floor-length dark coats with matching scarves and gloves, which Phantom insisted on wrapping us in before we left like we were about to scale Everest.
Phantom shook his head, however, when I asked if he was coming with us. Then he gestured to the cabin window, which he was busy updating with what I could only describe asbooby traps.
The Hunters are taking the scheme of trapping the Krakens, who are planning to murder Bird and me and once tried to forcibly claim Joker while burning his Alpha, very seriously.
Joker glances over his shoulder. “This is a mission. Isn’t my training working at all?”
But he’s grinning.
“I thought that this was your idea of a date, Jokes?” I whisper back. “Breaking and entering, before skinny dipping in your wealthy neighbor’s pool?”
“Not really a neighbor. We’ve had to hike for an hour through the forest to reach their house.” Joker hunches his shoulders in his thick coat against the feathering of snow, leading us toward the stone terrace. “Be honest, you were going as stir-crazy as I was trapped inside for so long. We needed to get out into the fresh air and then do something scandalous. It’s in our nature. Also, can’t a date be a mission?”
“Why not? As long as you’re sure that we won’t be shot during it.”
“No one has found our safehouse yet. Phantom and I check the entire area each day. It may look low tech to you in our cabin, but in fact, I have some of the best tech in the world hidden away.”
I believe him.