Oh, dear god. The man had found himself on a dating app. I had a million questions and an equal number of concerns, but before I could voice any of them, Elwood glanced over the top of the screen and said, “Your homosexual partner is here.”
“Excuse me?” I bit back a grin, spotting Diem. “Yeah. I just call him my boyfriend or Diem.”
Elwood sized me up and down, nodding. He didn’t seem particularly put out by my orientation or relationship status, but he appeared unsure how to address it. “Did you find your fella on a computer?”
“Nope. I fell into his arms one day when I was trying to change a light bulb.”
“Is that right? You’re not joshing me, are ya? I’ve heard jokes about lightbulbs.”
“No, sir. True story.” I did not share how my dick had come in direct contact with Diem’s face on that fateful afternoon because Elwood was an old man, and old men had weak hearts.
Diem spotted me and wandered over, Echo glued to his side.
“I thought you were having a tour with Aaron,” he mumbled, eyeing Elwood.
“I was. He had to step out to take a phone call, so Elwood here was keeping me company. He was telling me about his harem of young, beautiful girlfriends.”
“I’m chatting with them,” Elwood said, pride framing his words as he indicated the laptop screen. “It’s like texting but not on a cellular phone. It’s new age. The in-tra-net. You heard of it?”
Diem didn’t seem to know what to say and addressed me instead. “Are you finished? Echo’s out of tricks, and I’m out of dog treats, which is good because if she eats any more, she’ll be sick. Nana’s gone to lie down for a bit.”
“I’m done for now. We can leave a message for Aaron at the front desk. Let him know we took off. I have his office extension, so I can call if I have more questions.”
“You should see if he wants to be your boyfriend,” Elwood said. “Aaron is a homosexual man, too. Not sure if he’s single, but that don’t matter. This is twenty-twenty-six. Times are different.”
Diem’s lips twitched. For a second, I thought it was irritation at the audacity of the suggestion, but when he turned swiftly for the door and marched off, yelling, “Come on, Tallus,” a hint of humor colored his tone.
I chuckled. “See you later, Elwood. Be good to your girlfriends.”
“Oh, I will. Gonna ask Ginger to go on a date this weekend.”
“Ginger?”
“She’s a fiery redhead. Boy, I like me a redhead.” He rubbed his hands together conspiratorially.
“Good luck.”
I wanted to warn him that Ginger’s profile picture was probably AI-generated and the person behind the façade was likely a bored kid or a con. I hope someone monitored what Elwood was doing. I wasn’t sure what the rules were in a place like Evergreen, but even if “Ginger” agreed to a date, I doubted residents could leave without some sort of protocol in place.
I caught up with Diem in the hallway, hooking my arm through his. “So,” I cooed. “Elwood tells me you’re a homosexual man, and since I’m a homosexual man as well, I say we go home and do homosexual things together.”
Diem couldn’t contain his grin as he shook his head. It stretched crescent moons beside his mouth. “You’re a shit.”
“I’m your shit.”
“But what about dear, sweet Aaron? Apparently, he, too, is a homosexual man, and possibly single. Don’t think I haven’t noticed him checking you out all morning.” He growled playfully under his breath.
“Aww. Do you feel threatened, cuddle bear?”
“No.” The immediate answer lightened my step. I rested my head against Diem’s broad bicep as we continued down the hall.
“Good because you’re it for me. I love you, D.”
He unhooked our arms and wrapped his around my shoulder instead, drawing me snug against his side and pecking a kiss on the top of my head. “I love you too.”
2
Diem