A few light-colored couches and cushioned chairs were arranged around a low table. Decorative pillows and knitted blankets offered comfort. Generic paintings of countrysides decorated the walls. The heavy curtains over the window had been pulled aside.
The rain fell in sheets beyond.
Elwood was less than pleased and more than a bit vocal at being dragged away from his group social.
“You know what the kids call this?” he said to his son as he lowered himself slowly into a chair. “They call it cockblocking. That’s when—”
“Dad! You can’t say that.”
I slapped a hand over my mouth, but the laugh escaped regardless.
“Well, why not?” Elwood asked.
“It’s crude.”
“It’s not crude. It’s the truth. I was working my magic. Five more minutes, and Estelle would have gladly gone for a midmorning romp. I had her eating out of the palm of my hand.”
“Stop talking filth. These men are here to investigate your missing money, so—”
“Ah, for Pete’s sake. I already talked to the police and answered all their questions. What more do you need? I’ll be dead before that money is returned. Ain’t worth my time.”
It was then, as he glared daggers at us, that recognition dawned on Elwood’s face. He flinched, glancing between Diem and me. “Hey. They aren’t police. I know you.”
Elwood narrowed his eyes and shook his finger at Diem. “You’re Hazel’s grandson. The queer.”
“Dad! Could you—”
Elwood waved away his son’s admonishments as he switched his attention to me. “And you’re the… partner… the… boyfriend? Gah, I don’tknow what you kids are calling it. You’re the other homosexual. Don’t tell me your name. I remember. It’s… Tallus. Your name’s Tallus.”
“We meet again, Elwood. Nothing wrong with your memory.” I held out my hand for him to shake, but he stared at it repulsively, so I leaned in and whispered, “The queer isn’t catching. I promise. In fact, you shook it last time, remember? So, if you’re still inclined to flirt with the ladies, you’re probably okay.”
Elwood’s shockingly blue eyes widened. “Why I never—”
“Shake his hand, Dad,” Benaiah said through gritted teeth. “You’re embarrassing yourself.”
Elwood mumbled obscenities but shook my hand. Then, reluctantly, he shook Diem’s, too. “All my gears are spinning just fine. Don’t you doubt that. I’m smart as a whip. I don’t have dementia or Alzheimer’s. My IQ is above average. Go on. Ask me anything.”
“No one called you unintelligent or forgetful, Dad. Please cooperate. I paid a lot of money for these men to help us.”
Elwood glanced between Diem and me. “I don’t hate queers. It’s not for me, but I don’t have anything against youse doing your thing, so long as I don’t have to see it.”
Benaiah sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m terribly sorry,” he said to Diem, who seemed nothing but amused at Elwood’s crankiness.
“Am I still invited to Hazel’s birthday party?” A tinge of regret iced Elwood’s tone. “I didn’t mean any harm. There’s going to be cake,” he told his son. “They invited me. I like cake.”
“They’ll uninvite you if you continue to be rude.”
“I’m not rude. I’m progressive. I state my opinion. So what if ISMHover their… decisions. That’s my business.” Elwood grinned and crossed his arms like he’d pulled one over on Benaiah by using an acronym mid-sentence.
“I’mshaking my headtoo, Elwood, atyourdecisions.” I winked. His flummoxed expression made me smile. “Yeah, text lingo is practically my first language. I’m a seasoned Gen Z, my friend. I grew up in the age of the internet and smartphones. You can’t… What does your generation call it? Oh, right. You can’t pull the wool over my eyes.”
The elderly man scoffed. “I wasn’t doing that. Don’t put words in my mouth.”
“Cake and ice cream for cooperation and respect. What do you say? Do we have a deal?” I offered my hand again, far too amused by his cantankerous attitude. He was easier-going last time we spoke, and I suspected the performance was for his son’s sake.
“All right. All right.” Elwood shook with less hesitation that time, adding, “But I really don’t hate queers.”
“Great. We’ll send you an invitation to our wedding.” I regretted the words the moment they were out. I meant the comment in jest but knew without looking that Diem’s whole body had tensed. Fuck my life. I couldn’t take them back without making a fuss and could only hope they wouldn’t linger in the attic of his mind.