I nodded, my jaw clenched.“You as well.”
And then I turned from him, and walked through the hotel doors.
Chapter Eleven
It’d been a mistake- a huge mistake - and I had several hours of hungover driving during which to mentally kick myself for it.Frustrated by the radio, and then frustrated again by the silence when I turned it off.Blood pressure spiking at the traffic, even as I knew that was only projection.An excuse; yelling at my fellow motorists for their stupidity, their lack of foresight, standing in for accusing myself of the very same things.
I shouldn’t have kissed him, and I shouldn’t have gone out for dinner with him, and I shouldn’t have stayed an extra night, just because he wanted me to.Just like I should’ve walked out of their apartment as soon as William led me into the bedroom and I realized it was Flynn there, sitting in his cuck chair in the corner.
One bad decision atop so many more.I sat down on the edge of the mattress, my room somehow simultaneously reassuring and confining, and put my head in my hands.
The drink was to blame, of course, and the unexpected path the weekend had taken.Acting on impulse each time, not thinking beyond what might feel good in the moment.Blind, even, to how attractive Flynn actually was: the angry part of my brain relying on its own well of fury to keep that from becoming an issue.
And then, when I’d tamped down on that anger, no safeguards or precautions to stop me from making a ridiculous mistake.
I’d got hard, in the truck, thinking about the kiss.Frustrated at myself for it, but physicality impossible to deny.Straining against my boxer-briefs, tenting my jeans practically, to the point that I considered unfastening them.Only the idea of getting pulled over, on the highway, and some patrol officer glancing inside to see me that way stopped me from giving in.
Now, though - stripped down to my underwear and a closed bedroom door between me and the rest of the world - there was nothing to hold me back.
Not from thinking about his cock, pressed into me as we pulled each other close.Flynn’s hand at the small of my back; the softness of his lips, and the faint burr of his stubble.Nothing to stop me remembering the intense expression in his eyes as he silently watched me and his boyfriend on their bed.
He’d not been restrained, not been tied down.No limitations to his reaction, in fact, bar the gag across his mouth; even then, Flynn’s hands had been free to rip that away, if he’d wanted to.He could’ve stood up at any time, and stormed over to pull us apart.
Demanded that I leave, that this was an unforeseen betrayal of his arrangement with William.
Demanded to join us, to make it the threesome I’d first expected it to be.
There were other possibilities, ones which involved throwing his boyfriend out of the room and it being simply Flynn and I, but I felt too guilty to consider them.Even if just the vague outline of that idea was enough to have me throbbing with excitement.
I’d spent so long angrily dismissing him, scorning everything about what he’d grown up into, the speed at which that had flipped over into hunger was borderline comical.
I wanted to text him, suddenly frustrated at the distance, and the way things had ended after he’d walked me back to the hotel.But I knew, even if I only meant to make conversation, how those messages would go.The trajectory of flirting, of heavily-dropped hints.I could imagine aiming my phone’s camera down, at the splay of my bare thighs and the outline of my erection through the tight cotton, and sending him that snap.The tongue-in-cheek excuse I’d give for why he needed to see this particular view.
Nothing good could come of starting that.
I threw my phone down in frustration, sending it bouncing on the bed.Annoyed at myself; at my impulses, and at my restraint, too.