It hurt a little, but I got used to the feeling, because he had prepared me well. I thought I might easily learn to crave this. I pushed back desperately against him until he guided my hips into a rhythm as he slowly, rhythmically fucked me with long, slow strokes that made me beg and whimper. I was afraid Larz and Janos might hear me, but no one ever came to check. Then again, maybe they did hear me crying out, but knew exactly what I was doing.
I came way too soon, and I strained back against him, chasing that excruciating, insane feeling as I came all over myself and the bed. He came right afterward, pushing into me hard. It was all so intense, and I heard a muffled curse as his heat flooded inside me.
He fell on his side, still clutching me close to him and my breathing was a series of little gasps. He stroked my hair, and he kissed my neck as I slowly recovered. I turned to gaze at him over my shoulder through dazed eyes, and he silently gazed back at me. I wondered how long it would be until he grew tired of me. He was a hero and a general. He could have anyone he wanted—why was he bothering with me?
He sat up beside me and I felt bereft. I reached for him, and he reached back and grabbed my hand.
“Rest now.”
“I-I can’t,” I said but then ruined it with a huge yawn.
He laughed and petted my hair for a while, not saying anything. Then finally, he whispered in my ear. “You’re not at all like I thought you’d be.”
“What? Not achibbylike you thought? Are you disappointed?”
“You know I’m not. You’re perfect like you are.” He fiddled with one of my braids and the said, “Have you made love to a lot of men before?”
“No. Can’t you tell?”
“But you’ve kissed men before?”
“Yes, of course. A few.”
“Who kissed you?” he asked sharply. “Give me their names.”
I laughed. “No.” I shook my head. “It’s none of your business.”
“It is, though,” he insisted.
“No, it really isn’t. And I asked around about you, you know. I found out that you used to be married, but your husband was killed in battle.”
He rolled off me and onto his back. “I don’t talk about Merik.”
“I turned toward him and began to rub my hand on his chest, loving the feel of him.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Kirstos. Truly, I am. And I understand a little. I lost my family too, in one way or another, though it was long ago. I’m glad you have good memories of him. Does it make it worse for you?”
“What part of ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ did you not understand, so I might explain it to you?”
“Stop being so grumpy, I said, shoving at him a little.”
He grabbed my hands and growled at me, which was almost unbearably sexy. I wasn’t the least bit afraid of him and told him so.
“Afraid of me? Why would you be afraid of me? You’re my nobyo now. You said you knew what that meant.”
“I do, but I just wanted to tell you. All this growling and grouchiness means nothing to me. I can do it too, you know.” I proceeded to give him my most fearsome growl and he rolled back over on me, shoving my hands over my head.
“Do that again, nobyo. I like it.” We had a brief tussle then, which he easily won, but I must say he was gracious in my defeat. After a while of playful wrestling, where I mostly allowed him to overpower me pretty willingly, he gave me a little love bite on one of my nipples.
“Everything about you now is my business because you’re my nobyo. Just so you know.”
“I understand that term—Larz uses it for Janos all the time but tell me what you mean by it.”
“The same as he does, I imagine. It means lover, in a way, but much closer than that. It means that you’re everything to me. You belong to me.”
“Then you belong to me too, right?”
“Yes, of course. But I mean it, Taran. No other men but me. You’re mine.”