“I know. I’m nothing special, and you were just doing your duty.”
He shook his head. “You’re wrong about not being special. You couldn’t be more wrong.”
I tried to search his face hoping he’d say more, but he just kept staring at me, not elaborating at all.
“Well, it meant a lot to me. Especially considering how I tried to search your room that first night you arrived and thengot angry when you caught me. I said awful things to you, and I-I’m embarrassed now. I just wanted you to know.”
I turned to leave, and he stopped me, putting a hand on my arm. “You don’t have to thank me, Taran. I’m just happy you’re all right.”
For a crazy moment, I thought about how it had felt to have his lips on mine that night he found me in his room. He hadn’t known who I was then, and he’d thought I was a prostitute and called me that stupid nameand thought I was trying to rob him. But he had also taken me in his arms, and I remembered the feverish heat of his lips and the taste and scent of him as he held me close to him. How could I forget it? The shocking urgency in the way we’d come together…
He pulled me inside his door and I went willingly. We half fell, half stumbled backward to the bed, still clutching each other, and he was kissing me again like he’d never stop. His bed was soft, and I wondered if he hated it, like Larz said all Tygerians hated a too soft bed, but then I gave myself up to the plushness of the mattress, sinking down into it with the hard length of him pressing me even farther down. He kissed me like he couldn’t help himself, but also like he never wanted to stop. I could sense the reluctance and even maybe a tiny bit of resentment that he had to have this, that he had to have me, but I knew there was relief and longing too. I knew it because I felt the same way.
His hot mouth was all over me—on my neck, my face, and my hair. He was saying my name in a soft, persistent voice, like a mantra or a chant I’d heard the priests do in the chapels, and the pressure of his lips on mine was bruising and hard and wonderful all at the same time. It occurred to me that no matter how crazy it sounded, I must love him because I wanted to stay in his arms forever and never let him go. The unbearable sweetness of the feeling it gave me made me try to catch mybreath and tell him how much I felt for him, but there was no time. No time for anything but this wild feeling that was consuming me, burning me up on the inside.
“I thought I’d lost you,” he was whispering to me, touching my hair and tangling his fingers in it. “You have to stop this, do you hear me? This recklessness. You’re not being careful with yourself.” His eyes glittered down at me sternly, and I shook my head and laughed a little.
“I’ll do my best, but this time, I swear I didn’t do anything. In fact, you’re the one who put me in danger by trying to make me go across that bridge with Janos. If you’re serious about keeping me safe, I think you need to talk to the ones who are trying to kill me.”
He growled and pulled me to him, holding onto me so tightly I could barely breathe. “Don’t make jokes about this.”
“Believe me, I’m not joking.”
He pulled back to stare down into my face. “I would kill anyone who tried to hurt you.”
“I know…I know,” I said, trying to soothe him and get him to start kissing me again. Instead, he began stripping off the robe covering me, and I helpfully let him do what he wanted and tried to pull at his trousers a little too, getting in his way in my excitement. I was unable to uncover the little scraps of cloth he was wearing underneath. I knew that Tygerians didn’t wear much under their clothing—I’d lived with Larz after all and had even shared close quarters with him and Majesty when I was a small boy. This tiny bit of cloth he was wearing under his pants and across his hips had hardly more material than one of my terugas. I slipped my hand inside it, and he reacted violently, pushing me away and staring at me.
“What are you doing?”
“Trying to get you naked, so we can make love.”
“Make love?”
“What did you think we were doing? You got me naked.”
He looked down at me like he had no idea how it happened and I had to laugh. His face began to turn a dull red and he began to shake his head, pushing me away. “I admit I let things go too far. I-I apologize, but no. No, we can’t do that. Do this. We can’t make love.”
“I’d like to know why.”
“We would bond if we made love,” he said, looking at me like I was stupid.
“Would that be so bad?”
“It would be permanent for a Tygerian. And sometimes it goes both ways. We have to be careful not to imprint on someone—we mate for life, you know. If we bond with anyone, then it would be really hard, almost impossible, to ever be parted from them. The bond is unbreakable. Once done, the bond means forever.”
“That sounds perfect to me. Are you saying you want to do that with me?”
He looked horror stricken.“No.”
“No? Then why did you pull me into your room and why did you take my robe off? I’m naked, in case you haven’t noticed. And I’m the son of a royal prince. Not really someone you want to ravish and then walk away from them.”
“No, no. I would never…”
“Then tell me why.”
He frowned and looked me up and down hungrily. “You’re too young for me.”
“How old are you?”